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#1
November 4th, 2009, 09:20 AM
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I am tired
I have been going through something for a while now and I really don't know how much more I can take. I can't get into detail about it, but today I found myself angry with God that He would allow it to keep getting dragged out. I got upset and told Him that I didn't understand why He would keep allowing this to happen.
I told Him that I know He has the power to make it stop, but He won't . I don't understand why. I know God allows us to go through things ( Job comes to mind) for His own higher purpose, but I am merely a human being. I am incapable of seeing the big picture and I feel like I am being tortured. Not by God, but for some reason He is allowing me to go through this and I am physically, mentally and emotionally drained from it. Sometimes I even find myself thinking of suicide but I am too scared to do that. I know you all can't give me an answer but I need to vent. Why does He keep letting this happen, why wont' he put an end to it? I know perseverence builds character, but I am getting sooo tired. Why won't He allow my misery to end? I don't understand. Maybe someday I will, but for now and for the last few years, I don't.  I don't want to lose my relationship with God but I find myself getting more resentful. 
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#2
November 4th, 2009, 09:28 AM
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Been there, said that. He knows and He understands...AND He loves you. I don't know why this is going on for so long, but He does. And, somehow it is for the best. His peace to you, my friend.
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 I love you best today!   >^..^<
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#3
November 4th, 2009, 09:30 AM
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not sure what to say...i' suggest, but those things are always easier said than done. do you have any place to go to for help especially when it comes to suicidal thoughts? that is the part that concerns me most, this is when we know in ourselves that we aren't simply dealing with a bad mood or a bad round of circumstances that we can just "pull ourselves out" of. will be praying for you 
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#4
November 4th, 2009, 09:48 AM
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praying for your strength and support I have felt like that in the past and afterward it made me realize how much He lets us lean on Him.
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Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith;and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God KJV 1 Kings 8:23 And he said, Lord God of Israel, there is no God like thee in heaven above, or on earth beneath who keepest covenant and mercy with thy servants that walk before thee with all their heart KJV grace=giving what is not deserved; mercy=not giving what is deserved 
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#5
November 4th, 2009, 11:36 AM
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Dear Daughter,
I know there are things that appear to be out of control in your world, your home or your life. I am in the midst of your storm. I love you. I will care for you. I will uphold you because you are righteous in Me. Ps. 37:17. When you don’t understand what’s happening, know that My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways. Is. 55:8. I have ordered all of your steps. Do not be afraid if you fall; you will not be utterly cast down. Ps. 37:23, 24. Don’t fret, it only causes harm Ps. 37: 7, 8. I will never leave you nor forsake you. Heb. 13:5. I am your refuge and your strength, my well-loved daughter. I am your very present help in times of trouble. Ps. 46:1. Therefore, do not fear when trouble comes. If the waters in your life rise, roar and become troubled, if the earth be removed from beneath you or the mountains be carried into the sea, I will be your help just at the break of dawn! Ps. 46:5 I am with you! Behold My works and marvel at My salvation! Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted in the earth! I, The Lord of Hosts, am with you! I, The God of Jacob, am your strength! Clap your hands and shout to God with the voice of triumph over your troubles! Ps. 47:1. Call upon Me in the day of your trouble and I will deliver you, and you will glorify Me. Ps. 50:15 Cast your burdens upon Me and I will sustain you. I will never permit you to be moved. Ps. 55:22. My loving-kindness is better than life to you. Ps. 63:3a. Your soul shall be satisfied in Me. Ps. 64:4a. These are My precious promises to you. Receive them by faith. Heb. 11:6 & Mark 11:24. Trust in Me and do good Ps. 37:3a. Nothing is too difficult for me. As you go out, take Me with you to wherever you’re going. Invite Me into the hidden places in your heart and your life. I long to commune with you and be with you. Your loving Heavenly Father
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#6
November 4th, 2009, 12:15 PM
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That is a beautiful post and lifted my spirits as my day has been not so great so far! Thank you for the reminder that He is always with us, and the temporal trials of today will be nothing someday in the light of eternity with Him.
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To God, and God alone, be the Glory!
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#7
November 4th, 2009, 02:04 PM
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 thank you, luvjc Last edited by OnTheHorizon; November 5th, 2009 at 12:34 AM.
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#8
November 4th, 2009, 02:34 PM
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I've had those kind of days, too. 
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#9
November 4th, 2009, 03:08 PM
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there is a purpose, we do not always see it on this side of heaven, we just need to trust our Father. I have been to hell and back, these scriptures were on my mind.
Isaiah 33:2 and 2 Corinthians 4:17
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#10
November 4th, 2009, 03:20 PM
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A few nights ago I was having a pity party and got all huffy with God. Today I was reminded by the Holy Spirit that all the tears I cried that night? God has them all in safe-keeping. He loves me and I am always on His mind.
SO ARE YOU.
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I love you best today! >^..^<
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#12
November 4th, 2009, 05:46 PM
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I also recommend getting involved in the endless sillyness going around this board. We're not crazy, we're blowing off steam, and it really helps. But most of all, faith will get you through. I won't kid you, its not easy. But if you find the strength to hang on, the revelation of Jesus Christ in the storm is truly profound...
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Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. 2 Corinthians 7:1 If this makes me a fundamentalist, so be it. He Is Holy.
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#13
November 4th, 2009, 05:55 PM
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I love each and everyone of you best today.
Psalm 34 The LORD, a Provider and Deliverer. A Psalm of David when he feigned madness before Abimelech, who drove him away and he departed. 1 I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. 2 My soul will make its boast in the LORD; The humble will hear it and rejoice. 3 O magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together. 4 I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears. 5 They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces will never be ashamed. 6 This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him And saved him out of all his troubles. 7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, And rescues them. 8 O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! 9 O fear the LORD, you His saints; For to those who fear Him there is no want. 10 The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing. 11 Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 12 Who is the man who desires life And loves length of days that he may see good? 13 Keep your tongue from evil And your lips from speaking deceit. 14 Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it. 15 The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous And His ears are open to their cry. 16 The face of the LORD is against evildoers, To cut off the memory of them from the earth. 17 The righteous cry, and the LORD hears And delivers them out of all their troubles. 18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all. 20 He keeps all his bones, Not one of them is broken. 21 Evil shall slay the wicked, And those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 22 The LORD redeems the soul of His servants, And none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned.
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Luke 12:37 (NKJV) 37 Blessed are those servants whom the master, when he comes, will find watching. Assuredly, I say to you that he will gird himself and have them sit down to eat, and will come and serve them.
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#14
November 4th, 2009, 07:43 PM
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Praying for you.
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Philippians 1:27 Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;
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#15
November 4th, 2009, 10:24 PM
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This timely RR article might help you see the "big picture" and give you some hope.
http://www.raptureready.com/featured/graham/g97.html Perplexity, Despair, and Hope By Ron Graham -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;” Luke 21:25. These days are certainly bewildering. It just keeps getting better doesn’t it? Everyone reading this commentary is certainly aware of all the distressing news now hitting us between the eyes. One might call this current round of events mystifying to say the least. Which of us would have ever dreamed that America would someday give up her sovereignty or make it illegal to preach from the Bible? It probably even baffles the mind of even the staunchest of pessimists. Many who consider themselves patriots are watching all this happen yet for the most part are in denial. It just can’t happen to America. “Men's hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken,” Luke 21:26. Men and women are going to be witnessing some very strange occurrences going on in these last days. As everyone knows men’s hearts fail them all the time, but what the Bible says is going to be much more severe and with a much greater frequency rate. Men will be confused, and confounded, and their minds will be overwhelmed by the crazy things they witness that just aren’t normal, at least not the normal they’ve been accustomed to. Living and growing up in America today, is there any reason to be in despair? How does a sixty-ish year old man who grew up in the fifties and who became accustomed, as a young man living in America, to all the freedoms this country had to offer, possibly get used to a totalitarian government taking over his once free country? Soon this middle-age man will be moving into a mode of a well deserved retirement and possibly even slowing down a bit. Looking at the events of the day, would this gentleman have any reason to despair? The destruction of the United States of America is at hand and even the bravest of hearts can turn to despair when they see something that was at one time so fine, turned into to something so dreadful it makes true patriots ill. I wonder sometimes how people cope with current events. How many may be in the midst of or even totally engulfed with a deep feeling of despair these days. Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Some may have thoroughly lost hope. But what is it that they’ve lost hope in? Is it that they see no way out of the current worldwide economic crises? Perhaps they despair over the state of moral decay in America today. Although many didn’t see it coming, and even more still don’t see it, socialism has been thrust upon us. Even many believers seem to be at the end of their ropes. Despair seems to be the flavor of the day. Those who are lost and perishing have no real hope and so perplexity and despair can certainly set in and devastate men’s lives. What then, should we despair at all the insanity currently permeating our land? Absolutely not. “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;” Romans 12:12. I once heard it said that to despair is to turn one’s back on God. The definition of despair is: a profound feeling of hopelessness. Anguish, gloom, depression, despondency, desolation, and misery are but a few of the synonyms that go along with this same definition. As believers an attitude of despair certainly doesn’t befit us. We are secure in our life in Christ. The kind of hope believers have in Christ gives us a sense of security that covers us like a safety blanket. As we see the destruction of America coming down the road our anticipation grows for the soon return of our Lord and savior Jesus the Christ. We are mocked and ridiculed by the unbeliever, but we are undeterred. Many people have placed their hope for the future in a man. Their kind of hope is of no avail. Man will always fail to hold up his end. Sooner or later, no matter who the man is, there will be disillusionment. One man has been thrust upon us, seemingly bestowed with a supernatural power to influence the weak minded to follow him and his foolishness. Thus it will take much longer for those individuals to see the fallibility of such a man. Sadly many of these weak minded souls will never see the truth. A huge number of Americans are so completely blinded by this man that it seems he’s placed a hypnotic trance over them. After all these months they still don’t see the idiocy of his mindset. Can you remember watching all the hysterical wailing by both men and women as Obama won the presidential election? If you’ve forgotten the insanity and would like to be reminded just Google it or do a search of YouTube. There are plenty of videos that will remind the masses of just how much influence this man wields over the weak minded. Has Obama told the truth or fulfilled even one of his campaign promises? Only to the homosexual community. Come on people, talk about disillusionment. It’s time for those of you who voted for him to open your eyes to the truth. There is absolutely no hope for the future of American, or the world for that matter, with Obama at the helm. Soon, if not already, you who voted for Obama will come to the realization that you’ve made a huge mistake. When this happens, you may well be overcome with despair, knowing you’ve helped with the destruction of America. “Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time” 1 John 2:18. Obama is certainly one of them, anti-Christ that is. Everything he does is in direct opposition to God, that’s anti-Christ. That, my brethren, is what the Apostle John is referring to in his epistle to the church. He speaks of the spirit of anti-Christ. Obama is filled with the spirit of anti Jesus Christ. We can see it in all his works and attitudes. Unless you are born again his agenda will be difficult to comprehend. You who voted for this man be on your guard, because as you begin to realize how evil he is despair may well overcome you, especially as you realize how terribly deceived you’ve been. Having lived in a country of many freedoms, most assumed it would remain forever as a free nation. Christians figured it would remain so at least until the rapture of the Church. The completely open satanic nature of this man will turn out to be a tragedy for America. Those who believe in him, those who’ve placed their trust and even their lives in his hands, are being lulled into a condition of passivity and false prosperity of political rhetoric and lies about our improving economic conditions. The awakening that hits them will be severe and painful. Many will think peace and safety but it will all be empty lies. When those weak minded individuals finally realize they’ve been duped it may well be too late. Newsflash: Our freedoms are very quickly eroding. Some are already gone and unless the Rapture happens within the next year or so everyone will feel the wrath of Obama’s changes firsthand. This ultimate change thrust upon America will remove all our freedoms; we the people will have little or no remaining rights. Despair will set in on a huge scale and many nonbelievers may very well despair unto death. “Men's hearts failing them for fear” Luke 21:26a. Many of my brethren can’t or won’t even consider the possibility of the coming persecution affecting the Church. Little do they know it’s already here. Let’s travel back in time a couple thousand years and take a look at how the believers of the first century Church were treated. They were persecuted and martyred for their steadfast faith in Jesus the Christ. “Yes Ron, but that was back in the days when knowledge and wisdom were sorely lacking. Men feared the unknown. People had a fear of Christians and their beliefs”. Fine, let’s move forward in time now a few hundred years. What was happening to the believers of that era? How were they treated at the hands of folks who were a little more enlightened than, say, the first century persecutors? More persecution and more martyrdom. Do the research for yourself and you’ll find that from the early church’s history right up until our present day there have been literally millions upon millions of Christians killed, martyred for their faith in Jesus Christ. “Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you;” John 15:20. Why, in the name of God, do so many of my brethren in the United States at least, feel they are exempt from such an end? Personally, I see the church in the good ol’ U.S. of A., especially in these last days, as quite arrogant. To think for a moment that in this day and age Christians can’t possibly be martyred if they live in the U.S. is to ignore the truth of the scriptures. All born again believers are God’s children. Even though millions of believers have perished under the sword in the past two thousand years, and thousands of believers are being put to death today in many different countries around the world, the church in America is immune to such treatment. That type of persecution can never happen in America. Not in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Correct? Well, guess what? No born again believer, who stands up for their Lord and vocally proclaims the message of the cross and does not cower, will be exempt from the persecution that’s on the way. Satan delights in stealing the joy of the brethren, we all know that to be true, he’s even more delighted when he can convince the unbelieving masses that those who follow Jesus Christ are evil and a detriment to any normal and progressive society. When he can get people to see his lies as the truth he can convince them of anything. The first thing he’ll want to do is to get rid of the stone walls (believers) that inhibit his unfettered advance. That means he needs to turn perfectly decent law abiding people into animals on the prowl to persecute the Church, and if possible remove those arrogant Christians from existence. Knowing this ahead of time can lead believers to despair, but it shouldn’t. We, as Christ’s followers, know where we are going. We know this world is not our home and we should be in a mode of anticipation as we see the end approaching. To despair because of what’s happening before our eyes displays a lack of faith in Christ. This can be caused by a lack of knowledge of God’s word and even a lack of belief in what the Bible tells us will come about in the last days. Believing that God’s word is irrelevant and partly fable or mostly a myth is a real good indication some will end up in very deep depression and despair. Remember to despair is to turn ones back on God. Allegorize the Bible and you will find much to despair about. The following quote shows up in many of the emails I receive, “I’ve read the end of the Book and God wins.” Yep, I agree God’s plan is being accomplished. God wins in the end as they say. But don’t you see, God won before the foundation of the world. As a matter of fact there was never even a contest. In God’s mind there was no win or lose scenario. God always knew Satan’s destiny. This was no surprise to God. He even placed all the names of His redeemed in the Lambs book of life before the foundation of the world. Nothing surprises God. And no, I’m not a Calvinist. Believers can take heart in knowing that God knows each of us intimately and is completely aware of whatever our plight is. If we are living happy blessed lives or unhappy lives full of despair God knows where we are and what we are thinking. “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:” Romans 8:16. And I can assure you God isn’t going to take it well when He sees any of His children wallowing in the depths of despair. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1. God expects us to stand and be strong in the faith and trusting Him and His word. If I could convince the brethren to study their Bibles I know that they would become certain that God can take away their despair through His word. Our hope as believers is in Christ, and by reading His word believers can avoid the pitfalls of despair. There’s hope for all believers nestled between the pages of God’s word and you won’t find anything to despair about in the Bible. Yes, our hope is in Christ. We are believers because we believe Jesus died, was buried, and rose again on the third day. That’s our hope, that’s our strength. That’s His promise to His people. Fear is to be nonexistent for the believers as we know for certain where we will spend eternity. “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15. Day by day as we see this world slipping further and further into the abyss our hope grows exponentially. Nothing in this world can touch the soul of a believer, not even the supernatural evil underworld of malevolent demons. Jesus has given us new life and that life is only accessible through Christ. Oh sure, outside influences bombard our minds and even our subconscious at times. It’s a constant battle with supernatural beings that inhabit other dimensions and that constantly infiltrate our dimension to wreck as much havoc as possible. Try as they might, nothing can touch those who belong to Christ. If we believers could only grasp just a smidgen of how great and powerful God is and how much bigger He is than the lowly demonic hoard that wants to corrupt us and destroy us, we would never despair again. No matter how far this country slips into the wrong direction. We should never despair about our future since we know our future will be nothing less than awesome, full of joy and peace where God’s will is done for eternity. “And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.” Romans 8:17. Don’t despair at the coming evil but rejoice in knowing you are a joint-heir of the King. That when you suffer persecution you suffer with Christ. “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39. His Kingdom is within sight. So shout out your love for Christ if you dare. “I love you Lord Jesus and I’m waiting for Your soon return”. Now, shout it again. God bless you all, Ron Graham twotug@embarqmail.com All scripture is from the KJV
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Exposing heresy and watching for the Lord's soon return... www.watchwoman.blog.ca  "And the city (Jerusalem) had no need of the sun or of the moon to shine in it, for the glory of God illuminated it, and the Lamb is its light." Rev. 21:22
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#16
November 4th, 2009, 11:19 PM
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Things will not always be so hard! Don't give up!!
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#17
November 5th, 2009, 09:35 PM
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Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!" Revelation 5:11-12 Draw me close to You! When it's all been said... "Your Grace Still Amazes Me"
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#18
November 6th, 2009, 09:10 AM
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Thank you all so much for all your kind words, God bless you all!! The Lord has given me great comfort since then. The problem is still happening but He is sustaining me, and I realize that He is more than enough! The words "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" comes to mind. So, with these words and the scripture that you wonderful people have posted on here, I know that I can do this because He is allowing me to go through this. Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement. God and Jesus be glorified and are glorified through this situation. Lord, we exalt you!! Bless you all
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