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Stupid but seized with irrational fear I won't be loved in this life... and in heaven

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  • #16

    Thank you, Mary Rae, for your lovely picture!

    "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
    ______

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Lynn View Post
      Jon, no one is going to fault you for coming into the Lady's forum with a desire to pray for one of the members who has humbly posted a spiritual need. All of us need our brothers (and sisters) to pray for us.
      I agree, Jon. Even though this is technically the Ladies' Forum, we still like the guys to chime in with their viewpoints. Some of us sometimes post in the Guys' Forum, too.

      Lostseeking, sounds like you've been under an attack by the Father of Lies, who likes to mess with our heads because he knows he can't have our souls.
      "Oir is leatsa an rioghachd, agus an cumhachd, agus a gloir, gu siorraidh, Amen." ("For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever, Amen" -- Scots Gaelic)

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      • #18
        I'm in my 40s and have never married. I've received marriage proposals, but something has always stopped me from saying yes.

        I sometimes still have that longing for a husband, but it's not my first priority or concern. Try to focus on serving God fully and He will work out the rest.

        I've learned to accept that maybe it's not in God's plan for me to be married. I can still pray about that desire, but I try to remember that my first priority is serving Him no matter what and accepting whatever His will for my life is.

        Contrary to popular belief, there are many people who live fulfilled, joyous lives without a spouse. Marriage is a beautiful and sacred thing, but it's not for everyone.

        The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? - Psalm 27:1

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        • #19
          It's a heck of a lot of WORK!

          I don't care if you're "soulmates", it still requires a huge investment of time, energy, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, etc.

          " I have had an increasing burden to engage in some down and dirty, street evangelism." March 6, 2010

          Isaiah 6:8 I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “ Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?”

          Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

          Matthew 22:9 NIV
          'So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’


          I'm praying for you daily!
          I get my Bibles here

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          • #20
            Haha, I bet it's a lot of work I hear a lot of horror stories around me, some stuff you wouldn't even believe.

            I'm not looking at marriage through some made-in-Hollywood rose-tinted glasses or expecting some knight to sweep me off my feet. I don't even really believe in "soulmates" and definitely not that someone will make me completely, absolutely happy. I won't settle for being unequally yoked either, although this baffles my friends (even my christian friends) to no end. Actually, I could be married at this point, because my parents set up several matchmaking dates for me and some of the guys parents were extremely pushy in trying to get us to marry, but it didn't feel right.

            I just sometimes feel that yes, I'm a Christian first, but I'm also female... and I'm not really doing much in the second department... I don't know how to explain it. I feel completely worthless and so not special at times in that regard, like I'm just a vaguely female-shaped lump as I go about my daily life.

            But thank you all for the kind words It's stupid, I know.

            And thank you especially calicokitty, you're very sweet. Sadly I'm not moving to Ohio but I think I'd like you too

            I pray that God will give me my heart's desires, and that my desires are always in accordance to His will.

            Bless you all. And Merry Christmas.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by lostseeking View Post
              This is so very embarrassing to admit but I want to get it out there and basically off my chest, hopefully receive some advice. Sorry for the rambling. I guess I'm really depressed right now.

              I've always been socially awkward (kind of anti-social), a wallflower, never popular and never had many friends, girls or boys. I have about two really good friends and consider myself lucky to have them.

              I'm 32 and I've never had a boyfriend. To be honest, I've never really wanted one until I hit 30 and everyone around me started going crazy worrying that I would die an old maid. Guys have mostly ignored me up to now, with the exception of elementary and middle school, when they bullied me very badly (throwing things at me, spitting on me, vandalizing my things, hitting me). I think this is why I'm still, to some extent, afraid of men and I really clam up when I'm around them.

              My younger sister is very pretty and she's always had guys tripping over themselves trying to date her. She got married about three months ago. A guy saw my sister's picture and told me it's no wonder she's getting married at such a young age while I can't even get someone to like me since God can only do so much for unattractive girls like me. Once, someone said I was Leah while my sister was Rachel and if my dad didn't scam a man to marry me, I'd never get married.

              Anyway, I'm moving back to the US in a few days and a male colleague of mine told me it's just as well I was moving, maybe I'd have a better chance at finding someone since he thinks no man in Korea would want me because I'm not girly and feminine enough (in addition to dressing pretty and wearing makeup, he means having a more of a "geisha-like" attitude). He said this as if were a fact - like the entire male population of the country had agreed unanimously - and hearing that really hurt. I feel so ugly now.

              I've been praying to God for a Godly husband ever since I was in high school and at times I'm frustrated, but I'm not really worried, if that makes any sense. I've given it all to God for Him to take care of. But ever since my sister's wedding and my colleague's comments I'm beginning to wonder if this is an area that God doesn't really control... as in free will. If God isn't going to force anyone to love Him, similarly, He's not going to make a guy be attracted to me and fall in love with me. Which means I'm doomed.

              Or is it possible to pray to God for a husband who'll cherish me and have married me because he actually loves me and not just because he's getting old and his family is pressing him to get married to the next decent girl who comes along? I don't know anymore.

              And also... if I don't get to have a husband, so be it. It's fine (not completely, but the thought isn't unbearable). I'm longing for the rapture and I don't really have my heart set on earthly pleasures. But I'm suddenly very fearful that once I get to heaven, it'll be the same way... that while I have God's unending love, which is technically all I need, I'll still be a pariah among the other people. They'll be one loving, happy family, and I'll still be the awkward, weird girl. And this time, it'll really be for all eternity.

              Sorry for the long post.

              God bless you all.
              I'm Korean and I strongly disagree with him. Just curious, were you ever diagnosed with social anxiety disorder?

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              • #22
                I know he doesn't speak for all the guys there but nonetheless, I was very taken-aback at the very matter-of-fact way he said it.

                And no, I haven't been diagnosed with a disorder.

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                • #23
                  Can I make a suggestion? I got it from a christian book on so called "dating" (which really isn't biblical). If you want the name of the book, pm me. Anyways, my suggestion is to get actively involved in a particular ministry you have a heart for. For kids, for homeless, something where you meet others in the ministry. Where you work together to serve and shine the Lord's light to others. Don't go looking for someone special... just be friends. Let God do the rest of it in His time. Trust me, you want to be friends first before you ever get to the M word. Good friends. Because the "new" will wear off, life will get difficult, and you will want to be friends with him.

                  Another thing, pray for the man you haven't met yet that God might have for you. He might not be saved yet and needs salvation. He may not be ready. The delay may have nothing to do with you.

                  Plus focus your thoughts on how God sees you.... not how the world sees you... or how you even see yourself at the moment.... how does He see you? Find the scriptures.... repeat them.... Capture your thoughts and make them obedient. Focus on your ministry to others and let God bring you the right man! And trust me, you WANT the right one, not the wrong one!

                  oh yea, one more thing..... remember, that grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence but thats just because you can't see all the poop that was used as fertilizer to make it that green (I hope mods will let me say that)... lol ... just wanted to make you smile too!!
                  "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Acts5:41 View Post
                    It's a heck of a lot of WORK!

                    I don't care if you're "soulmates", it still requires a huge investment of time, energy, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, etc.
                    Amen!

                    lostseeking-((hug))

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                    • #25
                      God loves you and cares about you. Outer beauty is fleeting. A girl can cake her face with makeup and still be cruel inside.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by xGrace316x View Post
                        God loves you and cares about you. Outer beauty is fleeting. A girl can cake her face with makeup and still be cruel inside.
                        Boy, do I know about that! A girl I went to high school with was absolutely gorgeous - and she knew it and used it to her advantage. This girl moved away after graduation to go to college. Anyway, a girl my mom worked with got engaged to a guy I also went to high school with. This girl was kind, sweet, a wonderful person. Well, the "gorgeous" girl came back to town after college and happened to run into the guy I'd also gone to school with, he'd been a football player and they'd travelled in the same clique back then, but she was dating the most popular guy in school at the time (of course). Knowing that the guy was engaged and about to be married didn't stop "gorgeous" from going after him and breaking up his engagement. Shortly after he dumped his fiancé, "gorgeous" dumped him. I remember being so envious of "gorgeous" in high school, but as an adult I now see that some things come wrapped in beautiful packaging, but inside is the most vile, evil thing you could imagine - this describes the girl I thought was gorgeous, but now I see just how ugly she really is. So, Lostseeking, looks mean absolutely nothing - it's what's inside the heart that really counts. And for people to say all these awful, hurtful things to you, IMO, makes them ugly inside too. Put your focus on God, He sees you for who you truly are and loves you so much He sent His Son to die for you, no man could ever top that.

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                        • #27
                          As some of you might have noticed, this thread was started over five years ago, and the one who started the thread hasn't been active on the board since June of last year. Such good advice has been given, and hopefully it will benefit someone who comes here just to read, but it may/may not ever be seen by the original poster. Just so you'll know.
                          sigpic
                          -Lynn

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