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For Noncustodial Moms (mod edit - *only*, no men please)

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  • Originally posted by Kliska View Post
    I don't think that anyone here is giving any "lecture," but we can take comfort from scripture shared in empathy. One thing to keep in mind, everyone has their free will. Your daughters, your husband, everyone else involved. You are answerable for your own choices, not for anyone elses. God is your Saviour, take comfort in that. He also loves your children even more than you, or their father ever could. He has a vested interest in the outcome of their lives, He wants them to come to Him. He is the shepherd, we the sheep. Roll your burdens off on Him completely; He is the only one that can carry them, and He is the only one to trust.

    Take heart in His love of you, and rest in the knowledge of His might. Any road we walk down, He's already on the corner in front of us. Bad things will happen to us, but His promise is to enter in and work things to the good for those that love Him, conforming us to the image of His Son. The Lord is with you.

    Grace and peace,
    Kliska
    A sweet reminder and a wonderful comfort to moms who have hardened children, be they teens or grown and living their lives apart, who are susceptible to the lies of the lost and the false glitter of the world.

    Thank you for the encouragement, dear lady.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Mom2ten View Post
      Moms, I need prayer. I pushed my ex to take our 13 year old to a more competent counselor awhile ago and he finally did. She decided she didn't like the counselor and has stopped seeing her but is seeing the doctor. I had already sent divorce papers and the letter from the doc who treated me for depression during the marriage saying I was not bipolar, something that her dad insists I am. I called the doctor last week to get involved with him and talk to him about her case. His nurse called today and asked for the divorce papers, and I told her the counselor already has them. I told her that my daughter is frustrated and told me last week that her dad does all of the talking and she doesn't get to talk herself. The nurse said she is going to let the doc know and get back to me. One thing my daughter told me is that her dad told the doc that I willingly left at Christmas along with alot of other lies. I need the Lord to open the door between me and this doc and that He will open the doc's eyes and see the truth.


      Originally posted by EarsToHear View Post
      A sweet reminder and a wonderful comfort to moms who have hardened children, be they teens or grown and living their lives apart, who are susceptible to the lies of the lost and the false glitter of the world.

      Thank you for the encouragement, dear lady.

      Thanks to sweeetlilgurlie on Narniaweb for the sig

      Comment


      • Please pray for daughter Erica. The prayers are desperately needed.

        Please pray for God to open a door to get the girls out of that house. Their dad is mentally ill and extremely abusive. Even at their age, it seems like there is something that can legally be done, to remove them. He needs alot of help. Thanks.
        "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

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        • Dear Lord,

          Lifting these concerns up to You Lord, knowing that nothing happens in this world that does not pass through Your hands first and knowing that You are able to work it all out for the good (Romans 8:28) in Your perfect timing. We see dimly here, Lord. We do not know what marvelous glories earthly trials are storing up for us in heaven. Let us pray without ceasing and trust in You. Even so, come Lord Jesus. Amen!

          James 1:4-8

          http://www.preceptaustin.org/2corint...commentary.htm

          May God richly bless you all, moms!




          Mary Brown

          John 15:18-25

          Revelation 4:1
          New International Version (1984)
          After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this."

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          • Just needed to slip in here and grab a seat in this group this morning. A group that can understand what I am saying. Things have gotten worse. I thought w/ the girls getting older, that I'd be a little closer to the end of this thing. I don't know. To quote a friend recently, let's just say I have been through hell. Most prayer requests are always for physical situations such has health or financial or court or whatever. I've had plenty of those to last a life time. What is kicking my butt is the emotional pain from so many directions. I've experienced parental rejection, husband rejection, friend rejection but I'm not so sure, after my history, that I can handle total rejection from my girls. And that is what I'm facing.

            I thought I was near the end of this noncustodialmom type journey since the girls are getting older. but I was sooooo wrong. I am sitting here, recovering from hip replacement surgery and struggling like crazy to accept the rejection by 2 of my girls. My ex who is a psychopath (not just slinging words here) has really messed them up and he continues because he is getting worse. He has gone off the tracks. Many of you would not even believe some of the things I could tell you but I know some of you would. We have given my 18 year old opportunityafter opportunity to come up and see me. She says she wants to, she says she loves me, etc. but if we dont do things her way, she doesnt. How can this generation be to uncaring? One of my 16 year olds came up here this summer but demanded to go back to her dad's in less than a week. I'm rambling here but in short, my own kids, have rejected me. And this didnt happen until now after all the parental alienation I have been fighting for years.

            Regardless of how it is, the problem is the pain. I"ve handled emotional and mental pain for so long, I'm not sure I can do this. I dont blame God but I can't understand why He continues to allow so much on me. I'm ready for my life to be over and I'm only 52. I have so many other burdens that I have to take care of, this particular one is just killing me. The stupid thoughts of suicide are creeping back in and I know where they are from. I know Jesus understands the pain, he's feels rejection every day. But I'm not Jesus, I'm just a very tired me. I took calls from both the 18 year old and 16 year old right after my surgery and they were in tears from living in their situation w/ their dad. Of course I listened and tried to help them on the phone, even in my own physical pain because that is what a mom does. but I get rejection back after they dry their own tears. They are soooooooo messed up from their dad. They lie to cps so I can't file another cps complaint. I've told them to call the police when he crosses the line and gets violent. they choose to live there. they are THAT screwed up.

            I"ve told some of my story before, but I"m sitting here 2 weeks out of surgery and feel like I'm in a never ending mourning period. This isn't conducive to healing either. My boss seems to think 2 weeks is plenty of time to heal and I'm already working (I work out of the house). I am such a nightmare of a life and want it to stop. yes, I know I am to praise Him at times like this... but I haven't been able to force myself. I'm not mad at God, I dont blame Him, I love Him and need Him. I just needed to share my heart a little this morning so someone else would know and might pray. I know you guys get this. After a 13 year nightmare, facing rejection from the kids at this point seems like the tipping point. I'm tired of the sadness.

            Thanks for listening. There isn't much anyone can say that hasn't been said. I dont have a close friend and I just needed to talk this morning.
            "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

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            • It just continues. dh bottomed out on me today. he's so depresssed and sick in his own way, he has very little to give and if he does, im usually not first on his list. sitting here, trying to keep my mouth shut because I dont have the energy to fight. My hip is swollen and hurting in a wierd way. Enough to spook me. and then I get another one of those calls from my 16 year old this time, in tear. he twin sister was also there in tears. their mentally sick dad "had a bad day" and was screaming and yelling at them. He is very sick and nothing I can do about it. I dont understand why an official someone or something has to wait until there is blood before they intervene. He truly is mentally ill. the girls all know it. and hes getting worse. all i can do is sit here and try to keep from totally losing it. I pray that nothing is wron gw/ this hip. I'm not up to much more. This is one of the most hellacious situations a person can live in, make that exists in. i can't believe its down to this. Thanks for listening and reading if you still are.
              "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

              Comment


              • I guess this wasn't the place to come and share like I did. I am well aware that there isn't much anyone can say to someone in this situation. The few people I know dont know what to say either. I understand that. But still..........
                "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

                Comment


                • Originally posted by sunshine2777 View Post
                  I guess this wasn't the place to come and share like I did. I am well aware that there isn't much anyone can say to someone in this situation. The few people I know dont know what to say either. I understand that. But still..........
                  Sunshine, there are no fast answers. The court is totally backwards as you know all too well. Are you documenting and recording your conversations with the kids? It takes time to build a case but you need to do it. I'm so sorry this is happening. I know you feel like your hands are tied. But, to me it looks like the Lord is allowing the floodgates to open. I have emailed you awhile ago but didn't hear back.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Mom2ten View Post
                    Sunshine, there are no fast answers. The court is totally backwards as you know all too well. Are you documenting and recording your conversations with the kids? It takes time to build a case but you need to do it. I'm so sorry this is happening. I know you feel like your hands are tied. But, to me it looks like the Lord is allowing the floodgates to open. I have emailed you awhile ago but didn't hear back.
                    Hi mom2ten. I know there are no fast answers, been at this for 12 years now. I have tons of documentation of conversations besides other documentation but I've basically stopped. They will have to turn him in or he will have to hurt or kill one of them to get anyone's attention. It's down to that, because of their ages and them lying to cps. Yes, the Lord is allowing this to continue... I've just having trouble dealing w/ the emotional pain along w/ everything else. The floodgates have been fully open for 6 years now.

                    I thought I wrote you back before my surgery. I'm sorry. In July I went on a nightmare trip out of town (which was supposed to be a healing and helpful one) then came back and got this surgery. I am sorry if I didnt get back to you.

                    My hands are tied. I just wanted to share w/ others who understand and at least acknowledged. Not looking for pity, Just trying to work my way through this pain and situation as best I can and pretty much alone. More later, have to go, thanks though!
                    "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

                    Comment


                    • Flood gates just opened wider. i just got let go from my job. At this point, the Lord just needs to go ahead and take me. I can't even go and interview right now. I can pay for a health ins continuation plan to keep ins cov on my hip for 3 months at full price $805 a month and I may not get a check but the state of Texas and the ex who is looking for any excuse to put me in jail, are expecting the child support and health ins to be paid. I almost wish I was suicidal. I'm still in shock.
                      "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by sunshine2777 View Post
                        Flood gates just opened wider. i just got let go from my job. At this point, the Lord just needs to go ahead and take me. I can't even go and interview right now. I can pay for a health ins continuation plan to keep ins cov on my hip for 3 months at full price $805 a month and I may not get a check but the state of Texas and the ex who is looking for any excuse to put me in jail, are expecting the child support and health ins to be paid. I almost wish I was suicidal. I'm still in shock.
                        ((( sunshine ))) my heart goes out to you!! From experience I know that these are the times when God shows Himself more than ever. He knew what was going to happen and He has a plan. He is not going to take you but He will take you to remake you! Maybe what He wants right now is for you to let go of it all and let Him work it out! PM or email me if you want to talk! You are in my prayers!

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                        • Just want to wish all of the moms here a very blessed Thanksgiving! Not sure who will have their kids today or not, I won't, but please know that you are all in my prayers!!!
                          Last edited by Mom2ten; November 22nd, 2012, 08:37 AM. Reason: used wrong word:( probably needed more sleep last night....

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                          • Originally posted by Mom2ten View Post
                            Just want to wish all of the moms here a very blessed Thanksgiving! Not sure who will have their kids today or not, I won't, but please know that you are all in my prayers!!!
                            Thank you Mom2ten... and sending it back to you! Hope you have a blessed day as well as all the other ncms out there. I only have 1 of my 3 with me, supposed to have all 3 but such is the ncm life I guess. Sending you and the other ncms lots of these !!!!
                            "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

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                            • for all of you.
                              "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man, and God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out, so that you can stand up under it"~1 Corinthians 10:13

                              Keep your eyes on the skies, for the Lord is coming!

                              Part of the RR CHEER SQUAD! :cheer :cheer
                              sigpic

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                              • Let me intoduce you to my unemployment nightmare. It continues. The CS and health insurance eats up the unemployment I get. And if you know anything about parental alienation and anything about my situation, you know what is coming next. I skipped 1 month, just one month of healthcare before a policy I bought kicked in on Dec 1. No idea how long I can afford to pay for it. My ex will not put them on his policy even though the court order says he has to if I can't and I would pay him for it. He, and I am NOT exaggerating, he honestly thinks that if he puts them on his policy at work, he is supporting me. He is that mentally ill. He is still working over time to turn the girls against me after all these years... and is telling them that I am not supporting them along w/ a host of other things from the pit of hell. If you tell someone, especially kids, something long enough and enough times, they will start to believe it. Even if they dont want to. At the very least, they get very confused and dont know what to believe. Also, if he doesnt get my cs, when he is drunk every night, it makes him even more abusive to the kids. So if I go back to court and say: I lost my job and ask even for a lowered amount to pay until I can get a job again, it will have hellacious ramifications on the girls. Yes, they choose to live w/ him because of their friends. They all need counseling, one even asked but ex wont take them. They have asked, I have asked. He sees the girls as his property and he uses them to hurt me. When that doesnt work, he just goes straight to getting his sick revenge by abusing them. This has gone on for years. Do you know what it is like to have your own kids accuse you of not doing this or that over and over and over. Its hard enough to not be able to help them w/ the essentials right now. Im so tired of being accused of the things that he is actually doing or just the lies.... No one even cares enough to want the truth anymore in this mess. So you see..... here I sit...on unemployment and watching the pantry empty and getting really tired. I just needed to share w/ someone what is quietly happening in my life. Thanks for listening. Please pray for the girls. I gave them truth and basics when they were younger so hopefully it will ground them in some way.
                                "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31

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