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  • #61
    Originally posted by jinxmchue View Post
    While the Bible doesn't explicitly mention masturbation, I'm inclined to say that biblically, it is. When it comes to sex in the Bible, what do we see? The promotion of marital oneness both spiritually and physically (i.e. sex) and the condemnation of everything else whether it's mentioned (i.e. homosexuality) or not. Masturbation is centered on oneself and plays no part of marital oneness.

    Personally I feel that masturbation is the greater evil. If you sit down and look at pornography, you are being tempted. If you walk away, you have achieve victory over that temptaiton. But to go to the next step is to give in to that temptation, which is where the real damage takes place.
    It's also a form of idolatry, because the sexual image becomes a thing of worship and desire.

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    • #62
      "If you even look upon a woman in lust, you have committed adultery with her in your heart"

      Jesus makes it pretty plain that whether its viewing pornography or masturbation, it will involve looking at a woman with lust (via porn or the mind's eye) -some memories are best forgotton, but once an image is planted, my friends, it's planted. That's why these images can come to mind at some of the most inappropriate times.

      This is a struggle that many men face. The fact is, once we gain victory over one sin, it seems another pops up. Drives me absolutely batty! Keep praying for me as I will pray for you.

      God bless you all.
      Glenn

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      • #63
        wow, idolatry?

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        • #64
          Originally posted by jesusislord65 View Post
          wow, idolatry?
          yes, if you consider idolatry to be anything that you hold in higher esteem than God. an image of a golden calf really isn't any different than pornographic photos, in the sense that they both create separation from God. just my opinion.

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          • #65
            Originally posted by jesusislord65 View Post
            wow, idolatry?
            Yeah I'd call it Idolatry, I've suffered with this problem for a while myself. I'd call it Idolatry mainly because you're looking for satisfaction and you're looking for relief from stress and a quick boost from something else other than God. I've noticed that whenever I mess up that I just committed Idolatry because I put it above God in hopes that it would greater satisfy me than my hunger for God.

            Pornography and Self-Gratification I believe when they're committed:

            You've committed Idolatry
            You've committed Adultery
            You've committed Fornication
            You've made it #1 in your life and God #2.
            You've looked in other stuff for relief in Stress and satisfaction when you should have looked upon God

            Thank God that we are under grace!

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            • #66
              I still don't understand how married men fall into this problem if they have understanding wives as you all say.

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              • #67
                Desire can come at anytime; a scent, a sound, a scene.

                Because it is pleasurable, men dwell on it. It tends to condjure images, memories, that are intense. If continually dwelled upon, it leads to fantasy.

                When unfulfilled, it can breed contempt, anger, envy, self-justification.

                The last one is the worst as it leads to acts that many will regret.

                The Lord made no difference between the thought or the act. And as such we who believe need to see it for what it is; take it to the Lord, and seek His help and strength.

                Perhaps married men have a more difficult time as they think the desire can just go home and be satisfied. But often there are interruptions, health, timing issues that thwart an encounter. And even if wedded bliss is shared, many still want more.

                Sometimes the gouging your eye out or being a eunich seem the only viable option.

                But again, remember He loves you. Remember how He showed it. Remember your promise. Chase any of the visitors out of your dreams, and keep your beloved treasured. Then just walk daily in the Lord.

                And ENCOURAGE One Another.

                Men: Be Holy for your Wife, your Sons, your Daughters. It is worth it.
                It's ALL about Jesus. The Son of God - Emanuel - The Mighty God - Our Salvation.

                John 1:1-3 NKJV --- Luke 22:42 NKJV --Romans 3:23 NKJV, Rom 5:8 NKJV, Rom 8:28 NKJV, Rom 8:31 NKJV, Rom8:38-39 NKJV, ---Titus 1:2 NKJV - Heb 6:18 NKJV --- John 14:6 NKJV --- 1 John 5:13 NKJV --- Acts 16:29-31 NKJV ... John 6:28-29 NKJV... 1John 2:22 NKJV... Heb 10:11-13 NKJV

                ďOh Look,... an Atheist........I Don't believe it....Ē
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                • #68
                  Desire can come at anytime; a scent, a sound, a scene.

                  Because it is pleasurable, men dwell on it. It tends to condjure images, memories, that are intense. If continually dwelled upon, it leads to fantasy.
                  I don't know why God programmed man to have such a strong need for it.

                  When unfulfilled, it can breed contempt, anger, envy, self-justification.
                  Withdrawal symptom effects just like any other drug. Only problem is that this "drug" is natural and the withdrawal symptom does not go away.

                  The Lord made no difference between the thought or the act. And as such we who believe need to see it for what it is; take it to the Lord, and seek His help and strength.
                  Well I'll tell you a personal story that happened to me a few years back (probably around 7-8 years now).

                  I met a christian guy back then whom which I wanted to build a friendship. The one time I talked to him he looked straight at me and said "The Holy Spirit says that you are in sin because you are looking at pornography and you are pretending to be a christian, and that you are going to hell".

                  For the longest time after that I fell into a depression, because I couldn't stop my addiction and I knew that this guy was right. After researching the scriptures, it basically looks like the only escape from it is marriage.
                  The problem for me is that I didn't (and still don't) want the responsibility of marriage, for various reasons.

                  Perhaps married men have a more difficult time as they think the desire can just go home and be satisfied. But often there are interruptions, health, timing issues that thwart an encounter. And even if wedded bliss is shared, many still want more.
                  And this is what irritates me. Marriage doesn't mean that intimacy will be perfect. HOWEVER it does mean that you have an outlet that you have to know how to manage. If your wife is willing to help you (as the Bible states) then you should have NO REASON to resort to anything else.
                  Anything else I would consider an excuse. If your wife is NOT willing to help you, then you are stuck with all the drawbacks of being single and also being married, and NONE of the benefits of either. So I don't know what to tell those that are stuck in this position. I do know that a Godly woman would work with you, even if her desire is not the same, a compromise could be reached. Isn't that the whole point of marriage?

                  Sometimes the gouging your eye out or being a eunich seem the only viable option.
                  I've thought about it, I've even somewhat considered this path. But self mutilation of this sort would probably not be looked on favorably by God.

                  But again, remember He loves you. Remember how He showed it. Remember your promise. Chase any of the visitors out of your dreams, and keep your beloved treasured. Then just walk daily in the Lord.
                  I honestly don't know what God is going to say to us that struggle with this sin when we are in front of him. We try our hardest but even if we can keep from it for months, all it takes is one fall and you're back in the sin.

                  Personally I think I have no choice but to seek marriage (and sort of take my chances to see if I find success) and I think all other single men have to do the same (unless God wants to bless them with the gift of celibacy, as I've said in the other threads)

                  For married men, if your wife is willing to help you, you have NO EXCUSE. If your wife is not willing to help, then you have to figure out why (if that means marriage counseling or whatever, then you do what you have to to)

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                  • #69
                    You know, I have considered the idea for single men,
                    Rather than marry and mess up some godly woman's life,
                    Would they be better off taking a wife in their dreams and remaining faithful to her? I guess that seems selfish. There are so many godly women in need of a companion.

                    I caution any man not to blame God for their natural desires. The curse was brought on by sin. Our sin.

                    Why does one man walk like Paul, having a gift that freed them to focus on God's work, while another has so many wives can he really love any of them?


                    Often sin is simply I want more that what God gave me.

                    God is teaching some Contentment.

                    But once a month?

                    God is teaching patience.

                    But she's sick.

                    God is teaching Compassion.

                    But that one is so hot.

                    God is teaching faithfulness and purity.

                    But It's so strong.

                    God is perfecting His strength in your weakness.

                    But I feel miserable, it helps me cope.

                    God wants you to help your brother instead.

                    I know the excuses. I am a man. I never expect a woman to understand. To me, that is where God works helping the husband and wife be tender to each other. That is why God says our bodies belong to the other. That is why there is no shame between husband and wife. It is a special relationship full of hurt, misunderstanding, and struggles yet some of the greatest blessings given to flesh. The Goal is to overcome sin, to surrender to God ,and find fullness in Him, all the while blessing our partner.

                    Those teamed with a godless spouse have a very difficult journey, but even then God will do great works if you let Him. (I am not talking about violent abusive relations - which in my mind is spiritual adultry - which can still yeild fruit for the faithful.)

                    No this stuff that is in our faces day in and out, is part of our time. It may very well be the same stuff Lot struggled with. You know it's wrong, but you know why so many are bound to it. I don't want to be a Lot, rather a Job.

                    I look forward to the day when this old man finally looses its grip and falls to the ground as dust, leaving a new creation. One that finially can look back at the process fall on his knees and praise the Lord for never letting go, even when he did.

                    Thank you Jesus. No, I do not look forward to the fire, but purify me. Conform me to Your will. I know You love me and nothing can separate me from Your love. Everything I have done, do, and will do will be nailed to the Cross or clensed with fire. All for Your Glory Alone.
                    It's ALL about Jesus. The Son of God - Emanuel - The Mighty God - Our Salvation.

                    John 1:1-3 NKJV --- Luke 22:42 NKJV --Romans 3:23 NKJV, Rom 5:8 NKJV, Rom 8:28 NKJV, Rom 8:31 NKJV, Rom8:38-39 NKJV, ---Titus 1:2 NKJV - Heb 6:18 NKJV --- John 14:6 NKJV --- 1 John 5:13 NKJV --- Acts 16:29-31 NKJV ... John 6:28-29 NKJV... 1John 2:22 NKJV... Heb 10:11-13 NKJV

                    ďOh Look,... an Atheist........I Don't believe it....Ē
                    sigpic

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                    • #70
                      ^^^ Well I was going to post a huge reply. But I deleted it all and decided for simplicity.

                      You guys are absolutely right in saying that marriage is not a guarantee of intimacy. I know that. Since I have never been married perhaps I can't understand fully what you guys go thru.

                      I know one thing though. Many are claiming that they have a wife who is willing to help them. These are the men that I think have no excuse. Are you too busy with your 4 kids, mortgage and bills, working 3 jobs to manage it all? Well, I'm sorry but who asked you to get into so much debt? Did you need to buy a huge house and two SUV's? Did you need to have 4 kids? I don't want to sound like I'm picking on you, but sometimes we truly do lie in the bed that we made. If I had a life that was that stressful, I'd figure out a way to cut back. When you risk committing sin to satisfy yourself because something is missing out of your relationship with your wife, then you HAVE to find what that is!!! All the praying in the world isn't going to change that if it's something that YOU can change on your own.

                      I am currently lying in my own bed that I made. I'm paying for some HUGE mistakes in my life, but as always, we have to put all our troubles on the Lord as he is our only way to happiness and to eternal life.
                      Last edited by Paradigm; November 14th, 2008, 01:11 PM.

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                      • #71
                        What helps me is something I read in a tract from "Our Daily Bread" :

                        Pornography is a lie.

                        After reading that one sentence, I wrote it out about 100 times, and it is now stuck in my brain. Now, if I'm even tempted to look at it, I see that sentence in my mind, and it burns like a flame. "Pornography is a lie."

                        When you think about it, it is a lie. In real life, the situations suggested in those garbage books are NOT real, and depict a twisted fantasy world. And considering that the dark road of pornography not only involves the readers, but those men and women who participate in that filthy endeavor, you begin to see the truth behind it all: that it takes an inproportionate number of ruined lives to create one moment of pleasure that is quickly forgotten. People who have, by necessity, become so numb to it, that they can no longer feel very much, and their consciences are seared horrificly. Broken homes, divorces, drugs, prostitution, STD's, etc.

                        The world of pornography seeks to show an idealistic eutopia of pleasures and delights, but the reality of it is a dark, frightening world in which human beings are regarded as little more than pieces of meat to be photographed and "consumed' by the public. And worst of all, it creates an image of the opposite sex that is far from healthy, and denfinitely NOT realistic.

                        But unfortunately, all the logic in the world cannot combat desire. Our desire, then, has to be to please God more than to please ourselves. We cannot worship God, and continue to worship sexual pleasure as a "god." For me, while that one sentence has little power on it's own, the truth of God is what empowers it in my mind. The Holy Spirit gives it breath, and the ability to shine in my brain when I would otherwise succumb. it doesn't mean I don't sin, but it does mean that I no longer fight this battle alone, and I DO NOT have to succumb to it.

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                        • #72
                          Hello Gentlemen,

                          The lure and addiction of Pornography is one that I dealt with for a long time! I feel truly blessed that GOD has shown mercy and freed me from this stronghold. I can honestly say that if you are dealing with this, pray to GOD for forgiveness and freedom and he will set you free! The enemy will still try to temp you, but hold onto GOD for all your needs.

                          Guard up your eyes from things that come on TV regular magazines, as the enemy uses any and every avenue he can to keep you bound up. I have had to stop buying motorcycle magazines with suggestive covers, because it made my daugther feel uncomfortable (Through the eyes of a Child!)

                          Tear up magazines, throw away any videos, pictures, books, dvd's and anything else that can temp you.

                          GOD will heal all who truly seek him.

                          I pray that anyone dealing with this today seek JESUS for healing and freedom from this and turn away

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                          • #73
                            When I became saved I prayed to G** and asked him to stop all of my addictions (Alcohol, cigarettes, porn, television and food). I have since stopped but every day is a constant struggle and I thank G** that I can make it through a day without doing it and resisting it. The one thing that I have noticed is that when you watch TV and you are addicted to something it will constantly be played on the TV and you will get the urge to do it. In today's society all of these addictions are not taken seriously unless it's to the point of death, drugs are glorified, women are told to dress sexually provocative and children and adults are extremely addicted to television and no one sees it as a problem because everyone who is "normal" is addicted to it. In today's society it's a social norm business practice to prey on others weakness, shortcomings and insecurities in order to be successful and rich. More people are worried about getting more things bigger things and better things then about giving to others. I’m sorry if this sounds like I’m ranting and complaining but it just saddens me that it took me so long to realize this and the majority of today’s society will never recognize it.

                            God bless all of us who try to resist the evils of today.

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                            • #74
                              I wrote something a few years ago on this very subject. It's not perfect, but it was something that I felt would be a good reminder to me whenever I felt like I was in danger of not maintaining my purity:

                              Dear fellow brother or sister in Christ,
                              My name is Donald McNurlin and I struggle with my purity. It has, in fact, become so much of a struggle that I was brought to my knees by Satanís whim and I was driven to prayer to overcome this wall, and God provided me a spiritual rope and grappling hook to climb over it. I am convinced that it was only through the Holy Spirit that I was able to put all these Scriptures together because I didnít know them by heart! So, because I have been given these Scriptures as a gift from God to strengthen my purity, I feel it is my duty as a disciple of Christ to share this gift of Scripture that our Father in Heaven so freely provided to me. I ask that as you read the beginning of each paragraph, that you first read the Scripture that I have indicated before reading the rest of the body of text. After all, these are the words that gave me my new found, God-given conviction, and to God be the glory! Amen.

                              The first Scripture that came to mind was Zechariah 9:13. Being somewhat narrow minded, I read 9:13 and missed the Scripture surrounding it. If we look back to verse 9 in this same chapter, we see the coming of our Savior foretold, and with that what he will bring. As we already know, the Father does use metaphor quite often as he speaks to us, and I feel that the peace discussed here is not just throughout the land, but in our hearts as well. Continuing on to verse 13, we see that God can bend an entire city! If He is capable of this, then surely our Father can bend our hearts and shift their direction entirely, and as such can easily purify our thinking. Continuing on to the end of Zechariah chapter 9, we see that God will overcome the enemy (sin) and save us from our death. On top of that, we see that we will become beautiful as well! The only way this can happen is if we are purified.

                              The next one that I read was Matthew 5:27-29. Here itís laid out clearly before us how adultery is defined. If we so much as look at another person lustfully, we become adulterous people ourselves! If we lust after someone when we just look at them, we must cast our glance elsewhere. Even more so than that, we must get rid of whatever is leading us into this sin and completely cut it off. Itís better to be lacking in an aspect of our living then to be complete materialistically and go straight to our death. Proverbs 5:3-6 tell us that the ways of an adulterous thought seem smooth, and that they feel good at the time. But, in the end, we will only be led to our spiritual graves! How many times have we been led astray by guilty thoughts caused by our sin? This worldly sorrow will only lead to death (2 Corinthians 7:10). We must instead do as we are commanded and repent by cutting the cause of our sin out of our lives.

                              Following this, I read Ephesians 4:22-24. Clearly we must put off the old way of lustful thinking. We are continually corrupted by it and, because of this, are unable to live as disciples of Christ. Instead, we are to be clothed in Christ, which is to be clothed in purity. We must be made new by the attitudes given us by or Savior, which is key to living as a true disciple. If we read on in Ephesians 5:3, we see again how our thinking must be. Not even a hint of sexual immorality. Lustful thinking isnít just a hint, itís full-blown adultery with the world! So, we must put on the new attitudes given us by Christ and think in pure fashion. One may ask themselves, ďSelf, what danger is there in pursuing these thoughts?Ē You will be eaten by the devil! 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that heís like a lion, and if Satan is like a lion, then you know that he wonít be a cute and cuddly one. We must be self controlled, or Satan will step in and devour us with sin. Once gobbled up by it, we sit in the digestive juices of sin and it eats away at us. So, if we can control our thinking, weíll avoid this despicable fate.

                              The next Scripture I was shown was in the book of 1 John. 1 John 2:15-17 tells us that loving the world (in this case lustful thoughts) keeps us from having the love of the Father in us. If we have the love of the Father in us, we love others. However, if we have lust in us, we instead treat people as objects, abusing them with evil thoughts and destroying them in our minds. By doing this we also show that we love these lustful thoughts more than we love our Father, because instead of turning from them as God commands us to do, we defy him by pursuing them. If we do the will of God, though, we will not pass away as the world does but instead live forever. By doing his will we show our love for Him.

                              I was next led into Hebrews 10:22. As it says here, let us draw near to God and be cleansed. If we donít pursue our lustful thoughts, we donít fall into temptation and sin, and thereís nothing to be guilty of. Henceforth, we will be cleansed of a guilty conscience and we can become purified by walking with the Lord.

                              Finally, I was closed out in my study in Romans 6:13. Our bodies must not be tools used for sin. No part of our body is to be used for that. We cannot lust with our eyes, nor can we think lustfully with our minds. No part is to be used for sin. As we have seen, there is not only a terrible penalty for pursuing lustful thinking, it also prevents us from loving God, and we hurt him in our chasing sin. Now let us, in unity, purify our thinking as a whole and turn our hearts towards the Lord and away from impurity.

                              Thank you for your time. My goal and hope is that you can take away from this the same thing that I did: a renewed conviction on purity, as well as the strength to cast your eyes and thoughts away from the temptation of lustful thinking.

                              Love always in Christ,

                              Donald

                              (P.S. I was horribly addicted to pornography as a teenager and even as a disciple of Jesus Christ. And not in conventional formats, either, I was addicted to horribly grotesque forms, and it was not easy climbing out. In fact, I never climbed out - it was God who pulled me out of my disaster, and has unchained me for good!)
                              Last edited by VersysRyder; November 18th, 2008, 12:48 PM.

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                              • #75
                                there's a wonderful website called www.settingcaptivesfree.com where you can enroll in a sixty day purity course, it's wonderful, i'm doing it myself!

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