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  • Resisting the flesh

    Good...a mans area..

    I have a meals on wheels route.

    On one of my stops the old ladies grandaughter comes out to get the meal.

    She never wears a bra. Her Tshirts are thin. She is not bad looking.

    I would rather not be put in this position to where Im tempted to lust.
    Thats why I quit porn...which I naively thought would end the lust.
    If possible I would stop going there to avoid it altogether.

    Im feeding the hungry and dont want to stop that work so I try to look only at her face.
    Not having much luck there. Sometimes I look forward to giving her the meal.
    Other times the image pops into my head later..

    It is a fenced yard with dogs that bite so I have to meet her to hand her the meals. We cant leave meals because they may not be found in time and would spoil. If the client ate them they could get sick.

    My heart must not be right, I know..
    Im learning that training my eyes to behave is no easy feat.
    If my eyes didnt ogle my flesh wouldnt be battling this.

    Maybe I could walk backwards and hand her the meal that way.
    lol



    Just venting brothers..confessing..I should pray about this and make my mind up before arriving to look only at her face.

    Which of you face such temptations?
    Really, do any of you not?

    Please share any techniques that work for you that I might be able to apply to this situation.

    I would rather not pluck my own eyes out...

    Edit to add: Open rebuke is better than secret love, and more beneficial..
    If you feel the need to rebuke me I can take it and learn from it.
    Also, Im not pervert..this grandaughter is an adult.
    Its also an assumption that its her grandaughter.
    Last edited by No2Flesh; July 7th, 2007, 11:32 AM.

  • #2
    I used to be a carpet installer and would go into people's homes. You can only imagine the things that I saw while doing this. I believe you're on the right track by training your eyes to look only at this woman from the neck up. Also pray a lot before you go there. Or if you're still struggling too much have a woman you know deliver the meal to this particular home. I'll be praying for you brother. Yes, I can't wait for the day when we're with the Lord when we won't be bothered by these fleshly things!

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks mtbcforJesus.

      I can imagine going into peoples homes would be much worse, Im glad to not be in that position..that could easily turn into something more than ogling.

      Yes, I will pray about it and bring my flesh under submission to the Holy Spirit
      with Gods help. Hiding in a cacoon isnt the answer (quitting the charity), Ive got to learn to control my old man wherever I am...deprive him..so that the new man grows stronger and has complete control.

      It would help if he would go along with this plan, its time to stop begging and insist he does.

      Comment


      • #4
        Can you get another person to deliver the meal on that particular route? Can you get another route to take?

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi FreeInHim,

          Each route is done by only one person, usually about 10-12 meals.
          So it would have to be a route change, not a per meal delivery.

          My route is way out in the country and takes longer than the others, thus no one wants to do it and its hard to keep it filled. So I took it as my responsibility to make sure those meals get delivered.



          In the summer my daughters are off school and they help
          which teaches them important lessons on helping others, I hate to give that up..

          When Im pulling down her street I will ask The Lord for strength.
          If this is a test then I need to step up to the plate and
          pass it like a (Godly) man.

          All that said...if next Thursday I fail then its time to ask for a new route.
          If they refuse I will resign.

          Comment


          • #6
            Ay, I understand.

            Keep your eyes focused and do pray.

            Comment


            • #7
              Man!.........it is tough to resist the flesh in this particular area. I work in a shopping mall so you can imagine what I have to deal with.........it is sooooooooooooooo difficult sometimes! I wish I had a wife, though that would not entirely remove the temptation, at least I could think of her when I was tempted.

              I feel your pain brother. I will pray for you if you will pray for me.

              Comment


              • #8
                You have a deal bro..

                Also, may God bring the woman into your life
                that He has for you when/if you are ready.

                Proverbs 18:22
                Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Meal route problems.

                  From the tool box:

                  Start with prayer.

                  Take a tract.

                  Take your wife, mom, older daughter or have and elder lady from the church go to her. That's one of their charges: to train the younger women.

                  Picture her as one of the destitute, this may help compassion flood out temptation.

                  Just some ideas.

                  Every Man's Battle is a very popular and helpful book for this subject.

                  A wife is another provision from God. But if she is afflicted by a chronic illness (as mine is) then you will face a whole new set of temptations and growing pains. First focus on your relationship with Jesus. Don't be prideful, and don't expect you will have it easy. God is conforming you like a potter. Pressure, manipulation, ordeals, heat, fire, but the final product is useful and beautiful. Stay in His hands. And again PRAY. Ask for His daily provision and go, do His will.
                  Last edited by Wally; July 9th, 2007, 07:28 AM.
                  It's ALL about Jesus. The Son of God - Emanuel - The Mighty God - Our Salvation.

                  John 1:1-3 NKJV --- Luke 22:42 NKJV --Romans 3:23 NKJV, Rom 5:8 NKJV, Rom 8:28 NKJV, Rom 8:31 NKJV, Rom8:38-39 NKJV, ---Titus 1:2 NKJV - Heb 6:18 NKJV --- John 14:6 NKJV --- 1 John 5:13 NKJV --- Acts 16:29-31 NKJV ... John 6:28-29 NKJV... 1John 2:22 NKJV... Heb 10:11-13 NKJV

                  Oh Look,... an Atheist........I Don't believe it....
                  sigpic

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Wally View Post
                    From the tool box:

                    Start with prayer.

                    Take a tract.

                    Take your wife, mom, older daughter or have and elder lady from the church go to her. That's one of their charges: to train the younger women.

                    Picture her as one of the destitute, this may help compassion flood out temptation.

                    Just some ideas.

                    Every Man's Battle is a very popular and helpful book for this subject.

                    A wife is another provision from God. But if she is afflicted by a chronic illness (as mine is) then you will face a whole new set of temptations and growing pains. First focus on your relationship with Jesus. Don't be prideful, and don't expect you will have it easy. God is conforming you like a potter. Pressure, manipulation, ordeals, heat, fire, but the final product is useful and beautiful. Stay in His hands. And again PRAY. Ask for His daily provision and go, do His will.
                    Great advice Wally, I appreciate it bro.
                    I have already given her a tract. (This was your Life by Jack Chick).

                    It really helps just getting this off my chest to other male believers.
                    Now I dont feel so alone with it, even though The Lord was with me all along.
                    Your right in that I need to see her through the eyes of Jesus, and not mine.

                    To grow I need to face tests and pass them ,not my past SOP of running from them.
                    So I will update after Thursday how it went. Im much more confident now with all my brothers encouragement on RR, and feel more accountable.

                    If any of you ever need me Ill be here.

                    Thankful I dont work at Victorias Secret....Rob

                    Ps: Wally, your wife is in my prayers.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      We all have to be a Barnabas now and then

                      I want to encourage you not as someone who's vanquished and enemy, but on the same side of the battle. I'm sure what you face is similar to many other men, myself included, yet each one is unique.

                      One of the best books on character is Job. And if you want a blueprint for conduct, follow Job's example. But also learn from Job's ordeal. God is in control. We just have to trust Him.

                      Also don't be afraid to be honest with God. Asaph, Jerimiah were greived at the visible success of the wicked. Sometimes I am perplexed by God's injustice - letting me exist is one example (thank you God for being unjust sometimes-mercy)- sometimes I'm just don't like the situation, and I tell Him - BUT:
                      I know I'm so valuble to Him,
                      I know His thoughts are beyond mine,
                      I know He is touched with a feeling for our weaknesses (Dallas Holme)
                      He is an awesome God and Savior. He is my friend.
                      Last edited by Wally; July 10th, 2007, 08:50 AM.
                      It's ALL about Jesus. The Son of God - Emanuel - The Mighty God - Our Salvation.

                      John 1:1-3 NKJV --- Luke 22:42 NKJV --Romans 3:23 NKJV, Rom 5:8 NKJV, Rom 8:28 NKJV, Rom 8:31 NKJV, Rom8:38-39 NKJV, ---Titus 1:2 NKJV - Heb 6:18 NKJV --- John 14:6 NKJV --- 1 John 5:13 NKJV --- Acts 16:29-31 NKJV ... John 6:28-29 NKJV... 1John 2:22 NKJV... Heb 10:11-13 NKJV

                      Oh Look,... an Atheist........I Don't believe it....
                      sigpic

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                      • #12
                        Amen Brother. Im giving it to God
                        and praying Im never tempted like Job was.

                        Here are a few verses I found related to this subject:

                        Proverbs 22:3
                        A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, But the simple pass on and are punished.

                        -----
                        Proverbs 7:25-27 (King James Version)

                        25Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.

                        26For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.

                        27Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.
                        ------

                        Proverbs 6:23-25 (King James Version)

                        23For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:

                        24To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.

                        25Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.

                        ------

                        Proverbs 7:22He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;
                        -----
                        Matthew 5:28
                        But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
                        -----
                        Romans 6:12
                        Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
                        -----
                        Romans 13:14
                        But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
                        -----
                        Galatians 5:16
                        This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
                        ----
                        Titus 2:12
                        Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;
                        -----
                        1 John 2:16
                        For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
                        ----

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          This is a valuable thread.
                          We live in a world/culture that is hyper-saturated with sex. Right up front I want to respond to someone's comment about marriage. Being married is not the cure for lust although healthy, normal relations with one's wife is extremely helpful. As we all know, we are born with flesh in a fallen state. The only thing it cares about is having itself satisfied by whatever it's current desire is. When it does not get it's way, it goes into a tantrum. The devil and his minions are ever present to encourage the flesh and somehow, always suggests that it "deserves" to have whatever it's current craving is. If single, the temptation is to believe that all would be well in this area if I just had a wife. If married, the temptation is "if she only wanted relations more often" or "well she is six or more months pregnant ..." or "she doesn't look nearly as good as when we were married", which is tough for guys sometimes because we were created so visually oriented. The "visual" thing about us is not a bad thing because God did that, but it's the fallen nature of man that makes his visualness (is that a word? ) go where it should not. I work part time tutoring math and electronics students at a local community college. Although the majority of women are dressed pretty much modestly, there is still a lot that don't have "modest" in their vocabulary. Back a few years ago I was praying these stupid, low cut pants would go out of style. Well, they've only gotten worse.

                          I hope that this does not sound trite, but the answer, as some have sort of already pointed out, is to "just say no". Everytime the flesh wants to look, don't. Each time the flesh will get weaker. Sometimes I think of the flesh as being a terrorist. Don't deal with terrorists. There is no compromise. Either the flesh gets all that it wants or it goes into a tizzy. "Too bad", I tell it. "You can just go hang on a tree".

                          Galatians 3:
                          13
                          *Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:

                          Where it was written:
                          Deuteronomy 21:
                          22
                          *And if a man have committed a sin worthy of death, and he be to be put to death, and thou hang him on a tree:
                          23 *His body shall not remain all night upon the tree, but thou shalt in any wise bury him that day; (for he that is hanged is accursed of God; ) that thy land be not defiled, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

                          Also, like Job, make a covenant with your eyes. Refresh it daily ... multiple times daily if necessary.

                          Job 31:
                          1
                          *¶I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?

                          This is all made difficult by the fact that we cannot go just about anywhere in the West and not be inundated with sex. Want to run in and grab a gallon of milk? There it is. Driving down the road and there's a billboard ... tee vee? Forget it! I only watch the news on tee vee but always have my finger on the "next new channel" button when commercials come on .... oh my goodness I can't believe what they show! arghhh .... Also, when I was a teenager (sixties), girls waited for a guy to call or approach them. There was an unpleasant name attached to the few that didn't. Today? whew ... I have six children ... four are married ... tenth grandchild due in about 2 weeks ... of the two not married, who came 12 and 15 years after the 4th, he is 16 and she is 13. My wife and I who thought that the days were immoral in the 70's and 80's are now thinking that those were the "good ol' days" for raising children. (Not really, but you catch my drift) Suffice it to say, today, girls are waaaay forward. What the "world" touted as "being set free", as usual, is leading to the worse sort of bondage. Unwanted pregnancies, STD's, etc. are rampant not to even mention the emotional wreckage lying along side the supposed "road to freedom". I praise God that the first 4 are married to godly spouses and are raising their children in Christian environments. My 16 year old is leaving on his first missions trip in two weeks and reads the Word and loves Christian music. Same for the 13 year old but she isn't going on a mission trip yet.

                          Sorry ... I just realized I digressed.

                          Bottom line? Determine in Christ, to keep you eyes on Him. (I love the book, "Pilgrim's Progress"!

                          Issachar

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                          • #14
                            Amen and again Amen

                            There are moments when not one foot is out the door and the world persues us like deer files. And like deer flies they leave a painful bite.

                            I would encourage us all to put on the defense (repellant) Prayer. Think of good and Holy things. Encourage each other. Watch our steps.

                            We homeschool and I see my children facing a dark world. It is by grace that we stand and God is able to make us stand. So keep your sword sharp (stay in God's word) and do not forsake fellowshiping with other believers even if it's only here on this board.
                            It's ALL about Jesus. The Son of God - Emanuel - The Mighty God - Our Salvation.

                            John 1:1-3 NKJV --- Luke 22:42 NKJV --Romans 3:23 NKJV, Rom 5:8 NKJV, Rom 8:28 NKJV, Rom 8:31 NKJV, Rom8:38-39 NKJV, ---Titus 1:2 NKJV - Heb 6:18 NKJV --- John 14:6 NKJV --- 1 John 5:13 NKJV --- Acts 16:29-31 NKJV ... John 6:28-29 NKJV... 1John 2:22 NKJV... Heb 10:11-13 NKJV

                            Oh Look,... an Atheist........I Don't believe it....
                            sigpic

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Wally
                              We homeschool and I see my children facing a dark world. It is by grace that we stand and God is able to make us stand. So keep your sword sharp (stay in God's word) and do not forsake fellowshiping with other believers even if it's only here on this board.
                              (underline and bold; mine) Wally, this is very good. We sent our children to a Christian school from '87 until a few years ago. With lost income and rising tuition, we opted to homeschool because gov't schools are not even an option for us. We wish we'd homeschooled sooner ... it's been great!

                              But the second part of your post I quoted and underlined and bolded is a key, imho. I believe, and say it as often as I can, that Christians MUST be in fellowship. We are headed into very dangerous times. What was merely "writing on the wall" is now being enacted. We NEED each other.

                              Issachar

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