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  • #16
    Some good advice and testimony has been given so far. About the only thing I can add (and you probably already know all this) is that so many have given up on their marriage because of their "feelings". I've personally seen people say things like "I have to be happy" to justify their divorce. What they are forgetting, however, is that marriage is not about happiness. It's about a covenant that is made with God. That is why He said that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). So just remember that you are in that marriage for God, not yourself or your husband and until/unless your husband commits physical adultery or abandons you, you have no grounds for divorce before God (the one that matters).

    Found a good article on the matter from the RaptureReady web site: https://www.raptureready.com/resourc.../vess0103.html

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Shonsu View Post
      . . . so many have given up on their marriage because of their "feelings". I've personally seen people say things like "I have to be happy" to justify their divorce. What they are forgetting, however, is that marriage is not about happiness. It's about a covenant that is made with God. That is why He said that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). So just remember that you are in that marriage for God, not yourself or your husband and until/unless your husband commits physical adultery or abandons you, you have no grounds for divorce before God (the one that matters).

      Found a good article on the matter from the RaptureReady web site: https://www.raptureready.com/resourc.../vess0103.html
      sigpic
      -Lynn

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Shonsu View Post
        Some good advice and testimony has been given so far. About the only thing I can add (and you probably already know all this) is that so many have given up on their marriage because of their "feelings". I've personally seen people say things like "I have to be happy" to justify their divorce. What they are forgetting, however, is that marriage is not about happiness. It's about a covenant that is made with God. That is why He said that He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). So just remember that you are in that marriage for God, not yourself or your husband and until/unless your husband commits physical adultery or abandons you, you have no grounds for divorce before God (the one that matters).

        Found a good article on the matter from the RaptureReady web site: https://www.raptureready.com/resourc.../vess0103.html
        Great counsel.

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        • #19
          Please correct me if this is wrong, but I cannot think of any examples in the Bible of divorce? I mean, David had the adultery, then murder, and a whole bunch of God's faithful ones who we use as examples had struggles with some sinful tendencies or flat-out disobedience, but I do not recall hearing any examples of divorce? In the new testament the religious even asked Jesus why God 'allowed' divorce, but we don't have that behaviour demonstrated.

          I just thought of this yesterday, never heard this before anywhere. I may have overlooked something though.

          (I am not saying divorce is always wrong, and I totally agree with the previous posts on the Biblical grounds for divorce.)
          "Therefore my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable,
          always abounding in the work of the Lord;
          knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."

          1 Corinthians 15:58 (ESV)

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Firefly View Post
            Please correct me if this is wrong, but I cannot think of any examples in the Bible of divorce? I mean, David had the adultery, then murder, and a whole bunch of God's faithful ones who we use as examples had struggles with some sinful tendencies or flat-out disobedience, but I do not recall hearing any examples of divorce? In the new testament the religious even asked Jesus why God 'allowed' divorce, but we don't have that behaviour demonstrated.

            I just thought of this yesterday, never heard this before anywhere. I may have overlooked something though.

            (I am not saying divorce is always wrong, and I totally agree with the previous posts on the Biblical grounds for divorce.)

            Joseph was going to divorce Mary before the angel intervened.

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            • #21
              Did God Divorce Israel?

              Originally posted by Firefly View Post
              Please correct me if this is wrong, but I cannot think of any examples in the Bible of divorce?
              Q. I was reading your post "Know one knows the day or the hour" Most of it was very good, but I have a question. When did God divorce Israel?

              A. God compared His relationship with Judah to that of a man who has divorced his wife in Jeremiah 3:1. And in Jeremiah 3:8 He had this to say about Israel.
              I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries.
              These things were written just before the Babylonian captivity which began in 605 BC.
              Later, God spoke of a new covenant he would make with Israel. He said it wouldn’t be like the old one that they broke when He was a husband to them. He said in this new covenant He would forgive their wickedness and remember their sins no more, and would never reject them (Jeremiah 31:31-37). This will only be possible after they recognize Jesus as their Messiah, and turn to Him to be forgiven. Zechariah 12:10 and Joel 3:20-21 describe this.

              Source: https://gracethrufaith.com/ask-a-bib...ivorce-israel/
              Tall Timbers, Imperfect but forgiven

              3 trees

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Dove10 View Post
                I recently found out (actually just a few weeks before our 25th wedding anniversary) that my husband had an on going 8 month affair with a woman online. He is not saved so after 3 days of tears and heartbreak and a TON of prayer...I had confronted him with the fact that I found out and he had a choice to make. Either end the relationship right that moment or leave. I became saved after our 2nd child was born years ago, I became a believer...So to show him the mercy that the Lord had shown me when I got saved...I chose to forgive him and told him it was only because of God's grace to me that I could do this for him. He has since been "ok" but I do believe the evil one is out to seek and destroy as many families as he can. He knows his time is short. This doesn't shock me in the least...Keep your chin up and continue to lean on the Lord. He will fight our battles! I cannot do this alone. I know I still have trust issues with my husband now but it's only been a couple months since this all happened. Life won't be the same for me knowing he cheated but I feel I am living for the Lord and I must sacrificially love my husband as Christ loved me. My husband does know though, that if this ever happens again...I am done. He also belittles my faith, mocks me (and my parents for their faith as well) and has been a challenge to deal with when trying to raise my kids in a godly way. May we all have hedges of protection around our dear loved ones!! The battle rages and won't be getting any easier as we approach closer to the end...
                Praying for you, that the Lord gives you the strength & ability to continue to walk in that forgiveness. Regardless of your husbands behaviour, yours is correct so He will honour that. Let's hope & pray your husband will start to understand that the Lord will forgive him & save him. to you.
                For Thou art my hope, Oh Lord God Psalm 71:5
                Being confident of this very thing, that He who hath begun a good work in you, will perform it to the day of the Lord Philippians 1:6


                MY TABLET CANNOT TYPE OR SPELL

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by so-blessed View Post
                  Praying for you, that the Lord gives you the strength & ability to continue to walk in that forgiveness. Regardless of your husbands behaviour, yours is correct so He will honour that. Let's hope & pray your husband will start to understand that the Lord will forgive him & save him. to you.
                  Thank you so much!!

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                  • #24
                    Wow, I haven't checked in here for a few days , and how blessed I am to have all this excellent counsel and love from all
                    of you! I cant say thankyou enough!

                    Update: After much prayer and heeding lots of your advice, simply applying what Jesus wants from us is what I have
                    been trying to do. Die to SELF, tending to my husband more as God's servant, and he is noticing that. Love really is
                    the only way to go. As for my daughter, she and I had a wonderful talk, she understands how I was feeling, and we are working things out as we go along.

                    The devil loves to deceive, but he is a liar and we have to completely trust and obey the Lord.

                    Lots of thanks and love, Sue
                    " In the end, all we have is our relationship with Jesus Christ." Nearing Midnight

                    Behold, HE comes, riding on the clouds , shining like the sun, at the trumpet call.
                    Lift your voice, it's the year of Jubilee, And out of Zion's hill, salvation comes !

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                    • #25
                      Yes, drinking, blackouts, verbal abuse (his, not mine :P ).

                      Lord, give me wisdom and a strong back to carry my burdens.

                      " I have had an increasing burden to engage in some down and dirty, street evangelism." March 6, 2010

                      Isaiah 6:8 I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “ Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?”

                      Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

                      Matthew 22:9 NIV
                      'So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’


                      I'm praying for you daily!
                      I get my Bibles here

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                      • #26
                        So glad to hear that, Sue, applying biblical principles nevers fails! The joy that comes from doing the right thing regardless of others is so worth it
                        For Thou art my hope, Oh Lord God Psalm 71:5
                        Being confident of this very thing, that He who hath begun a good work in you, will perform it to the day of the Lord Philippians 1:6


                        MY TABLET CANNOT TYPE OR SPELL

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                        • #27
                          Waitin ~ I was reading your posts and praying - I think all have a similar journey w/family struggles, they just look different at each home. I realize that I need to just keep forgiving and whether I feel it or not keep forgiving - for MY healing... It can really mess w/us and our relationship w/God if we can't forgive - we must try, and maybe it will take years... But you will heal w/Jesus helping you and by your side. Just some thoughts and something I do often to stay close to Jesus. I don't want a WALL between us... And unforgiveness, bitterness, the like can/will do this. It's breaking and sealing off our heart. And that is the last thing a Christian wants to do. <3 Also, ask God about that divorce - it may be just anger, hurt, fed up, but make sure it's okay w/God for your leaving the marriage. He may be okay w/it for whatever those personal reasons are... BUT He may ask you to stay for His reasons. You wouldn't want to step out of His covering in your own flesh. Edited to add: Get in the Word, and let Him just speak to you there... I find the Psalms particularly comforting.

                          Many blessings and prayers for this new year... <3 May our God be glorified in ALL of our lives... May He heal what hurts, and help us move forward into where He is leading us. Unafraid, holding His hands.

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                          • #28
                            Speaking of family attack, my motherinlaw really showed her behind at Christmas and we are still reeling from shock at her behavior. She lives in Idaho and we live in VA. She lost her daughter to cancer last March 29th. She has continually grown more and more bitter.

                            Hubby and I chose to fly her here for Christmas so she wouldn't be alone. Both my daughters, soninlaws and grandchildren were going to be here and we had hoped all the celebrating, kids, noise, chaos would help her not to be withdrawn and utterly depressed.

                            Well...she hates Donald Trump and has called my husband and chewed him out (almost on a daily basis) claiming he is Hitler. We had all agreed we would not bring up politics (Trump) so we could just have a wonderful holiday.

                            My oldest daughter always gives me books about politics/presidents, etc. and this Christmas she did not disappoint. I got 8 books and one was Crippled America by Donald Trump. As I opened the books and put them on the coffee table in front of me my motherinlaw went off. She grabbed the book and threw it across the living room onto the floor with all the discarded wrapping paper to be put in the trash. She said "that is where that belongs! Donald Trump is Hitler and I hope he gets assassinated!" Needless to say we all sat in disbelief didn't know what to say. My husband handed me back the book and it was the beginning of the end of the joyful Christmas we had planned. She brought up Trump a few more times and I finally said, "You believe entirely different than us and we will just have to agree to disagree, but we really do not want to discuss politics." Motherinlaw was here from 12/22 - 1/2 and it was quite the struggle to maintain the holiday spirit. My husband carried her to the airport and told her how disappointed he was in her actions and told her she owed me an apology (which I will never get).

                            Well she wanted to know if she could call him and me this Saturday to talk, so I hope things will be smoothed over and forgiven. I've already forgiven her because I love her and have not walked in her shoes. I just love her. Anyway I just wanted to share and wondered if anyone else had been attacked due to Trump's victory.
                            John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by fan4sure View Post
                              Speaking of family attack, my motherinlaw really showed her behind at Christmas and we are still reeling from shock at her behavior. She lives in Idaho and we live in VA. She lost her daughter to cancer last March 29th. She has continually grown more and more bitter.

                              Hubby and I chose to fly her here for Christmas so she wouldn't be alone. Both my daughters, soninlaws and grandchildren were going to be here and we had hoped all the celebrating, kids, noise, chaos would help her not to be withdrawn and utterly depressed.

                              Well...she hates Donald Trump and has called my husband and chewed him out (almost on a daily basis) claiming he is Hitler. We had all agreed we would not bring up politics (Trump) so we could just have a wonderful holiday.

                              My oldest daughter always gives me books about politics/presidents, etc. and this Christmas she did not disappoint. I got 8 books and one was Crippled America by Donald Trump. As I opened the books and put them on the coffee table in front of me my motherinlaw went off. She grabbed the book and threw it across the living room onto the floor with all the discarded wrapping paper to be put in the trash. She said "that is where that belongs! Donald Trump is Hitler and I hope he gets assassinated!" Needless to say we all sat in disbelief didn't know what to say. My husband handed me back the book and it was the beginning of the end of the joyful Christmas we had planned. She brought up Trump a few more times and I finally said, "You believe entirely different than us and we will just have to agree to disagree, but we really do not want to discuss politics." Motherinlaw was here from 12/22 - 1/2 and it was quite the struggle to maintain the holiday spirit. My husband carried her to the airport and told her how disappointed he was in her actions and told her she owed me an apology (which I will never get).

                              Well she wanted to know if she could call him and me this Saturday to talk, so I hope things will be smoothed over and forgiven. I've already forgiven her because I love her and have not walked in her shoes. I just love her. Anyway I just wanted to share and wondered if anyone else had been attacked due to Trump's victory.
                              I am so sorry this happened to you. My husband and I have experienced similar behaviour on several fronts regarding Trump. It is an irrational rage that rears itself---you cannot have a rational discussion with these folks about Trump. It is evil. All I can think of and hope is that Trump is going to do something great and the evil is trying to stop him.

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                              • #30
                                I ride public transit, basically the "short bus".

                                A lot of the drivers have been pushing, hard, to get me to talk politics. They figure, as a white women with conservative values, I must be "with him". I knew the questions about my views were just so they could get on a soapbox about theirs and respout all the liberal garbage. I refused to talk politics, saying just that "I don't talk politics".

                                However, with all the votes he got I think some supposed "liberals" made the smart choice. They just didn't tell anyone.

                                " I have had an increasing burden to engage in some down and dirty, street evangelism." March 6, 2010

                                Isaiah 6:8 I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “ Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?”

                                Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

                                Matthew 22:9 NIV
                                'So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’


                                I'm praying for you daily!
                                I get my Bibles here

                                Comment

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