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It took the death of my alcoholic father to open my eyes

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  • It took the death of my alcoholic father to open my eyes

    Dad died August 19. He changed over the years and to cope with losing my mom he became an alcoholic and I became angry... At everyone.
    I got so mad my chest would get tight and my eyes would burn with rage.
    I prayed for peace and to deliver me from this all consuming anger.
    My dad claims to be Christian but I struggled with his words and actions.
    I had a revelation today... Nothing that I didn't already know but today the light really came on.
    If God can love my dad and let him into heaven who am I to be angry at my dad or anyone for that matter.
    If God loves the whole world who am I to not love my brother and all the people I'm angry at.
    Am I exhaulting myself above the Lord?
    If we won't forgive men he won't forgive us. I know that but I just put it at the back of my mind and kept on raging.
    We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities.
    I know that too but kept on raging.
    If I want peace so desperately I have to give up trying to control people and forgive those who wronged me.
    I talked to Dad 2 hours before he was found dead.
    The time for change is now. We are fooling ourselves into thinking we have more time.
    The dogs are barking, someone is knocking on the door...

    Please pray for Lindsey's salvation

  • #2
    Cindy, have you been able to surrender those things causing so much anger? Are you at peace in Christ now? Whenever I find myself off kilter I know it is me and I go into prayer and fasting until my heart is right (or more right as my sin nature doesn't go away).
    Tall Timbers, Imperfect but forgiven

    3 trees

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Tall Timbers View Post
      Cindy, have you been able to surrender those things causing so much anger? Are you at peace in Christ now? Whenever I find myself off kilter I know it is me and I go into prayer and fasting until my heart is right (or more right as my sin nature doesn't go away).
      Excellent!
      sigpic
      -Lynn

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Tall Timbers View Post
        Cindy, have you been able to surrender those things causing so much anger? Are you at peace in Christ now? Whenever I find myself off kilter I know it is me and I go into prayer and fasting until my heart is right (or more right as my sin nature doesn't go away).
        I want to say yes. I feel much better and am trying hard to see people with the love that God sees them. I want to obey the Greatest Commandment.
        The dogs are barking, someone is knocking on the door...

        Please pray for Lindsey's salvation

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Cindy S. View Post
          I want to say yes. I feel much better and am trying hard to see people with the love that God sees them. I want to obey the Greatest Commandment.
          Bless you for endeavoring to live in a way pleasing to God. Until we're caught up for pass on, we'll have our imperfect nature to contend with.
          Tall Timbers, Imperfect but forgiven

          3 trees

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