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Confessing faults one to another: What's your struggle?

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  • Confessing faults one to another: What's your struggle?

    I struggle being kind...I've been hurt so much I've lost empathy for others and have a get them before they get me attitude.
    The dogs are barking, someone is knocking on the door...

    Please pray for Lindsey's salvation

  • #2
    In the past I would be critical or judgmental , after much prayer and continually asking forgiveness and for a right heart I catch myself now before spewing anything out of my mouth. I still have to ask forgiveness for even the thought of it. The verse Matthew 15:18 comes to mind now and convicts me, I continually pray and ask for a right heart, I want to reflect Jesus in all I do, even though I am imperfect in this body.
    John 10:27-30 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

    Comment


    • #3
      Being transparent I can confess that I struggle at times with anger, loss of empathy, lack of patience..........and a loose tongue. The world has turned so cold, chaotic, mean, hateful, snide, disrespectful, sinful, disloyal, and embattled against Christ, God, the Bible, Christians, and Morality that many believers must be going through some of these same struggles. A lot of these experiences have happened in the workplace but also during/after Church splits (primarily over seeker sensitive restructuring) and even within my family and friendships. Prayer and scripture are the only constants that will bring restoration and proper behavior/thoughts back into play and should be enough to keep this from happening in the first place. Sometimes I feel like a leaf in the wind with the idea being that it's not always my fault, but it is obvious a lot of times it's just my reactive worldliness that bubbles up and out contrary to the Holy Spirit; no matter what the triggering mechanism was.

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm a person who is comfortable with his alone time, and even though I'm in a house that is mostly empty but for me during the day, I go into town most days and sit at a McDonald's or some other such place and sip on a diet coke while reading from whatever book I'm reading at the time. When I'm in my home, I'm always surrounded by things that need attention and I suspect that's why I get recharged by making these relaxing forays into town.

        One evening I dropped my son off for his soccer practice and instead of staying and watching I went to a nearby fast food food place. While there a homeless fella came and joined me without asking as if he were my good friend. When that happens here, from my previous experience, the person wants something from me... maybe a ride. The time was nearing when I needed to pick up my son, and because of the dangers inherent in providing transportation to someone who likely has mental health issues that's not something I would do. The fella kept leaving and then coming back to my table. Finally, my peace and quiet long since disturbed, I decided to go back to the soccer practice location just a bit early. I got up to leave and as I headed to my vehicle sure enough my new "friend" came running out and pretty much insisted that I take him somewhere he needed to go. I told him I couldn't because I needed to pick up my son. I didn't feel bad at all about my behavior this evening, but it set me up for a response to another person the next day that I feel was unfortunate, and I've regretted it ever since.

        The next morning I was chewing on a sausage McBiscuit and sipping a tall diet coke when another customer who I'd probably seen there before asked if he could join me. I should have welcomed him... who knows, he may have been a brother in Christ, but given my experience of just the night before I was pretty quick to rebuff him. I told him that I needed this time to myself when I come here to recharge. Because I'm real weak remembering names and/or faces, I wouldn't know who to apologize to if I saw the person again. I probably have seen him but could never be sure it was the same person. Had I not just had that experience from the night before there is a pretty good chance that I might have been more gracious, but I think maybe God was trying to show me something about myself... Anyways, that was probably a little over a year ago and I'll never forget my failure that moment. Please forgive me.
        Tall Timbers, Imperfect but forgiven

        3 trees

        Comment


        • #5
          Pride. I'm blessed to be very talented at many different things. I often catch myself 'looking down' at others who cannot do things as well as me. One example is following rules of the road. As I observe others breaking the rules, I struggle to remember that I am not perfect.

          I heard a sermon by Vernon McGee on "Thou Shalt Not Murder". In it, he said that the primary reason that God had such strict rules against murder, was because God made man in His image. So, when we murder, we are murdering a likeness of God - directly insulting God. Just after hearing this sermon, a very slow person was driving on the road in front of me, and I started getting mad... but then I was cut to the heart and tears came to my eyes when I realized that this slow person that I was hating, was made in God's image. I was murdering that person in my prideful anger.

          I do better now with slow people on the road, having patience usually. But pride is sneaky, it comes in so many forms. I will never be done with this struggle until I am metamorphosed.

          Cindy S - thank you for starting this thread!
          "Therefore my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable,
          always abounding in the work of the Lord;
          knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."

          1 Corinthians 15:58 (ESV)

          Comment


          • #6
            I think it's wonderful that we can be transparent on this thread. My spirit feels lighter sharing my struggles with believers. Love you guys.
            The dogs are barking, someone is knocking on the door...

            Please pray for Lindsey's salvation

            Comment


            • #7
              I am so glad to see I am not the only one who struggles with this. Does anyone else get accused of judging if you speak of God's Word?
              I am surrounded by liberal-minded people who believe in everything but God. If I mention my views on abortion or gay marriage
              I am met with anger and resentment. I have lost many people because of this and I gladly let them go because we really have nothing in common with our views being so opposite. I feel there is a spiritual warfare going on right now.

              Comment


              • #8
                This sounds bad but I am happy to know I am not the only one that struggles
                I have a quick temper and a big mouth and the 2 don't go well together....I try to find good things in people but those that get snippy,especially on differing opinions, make it realllllly difficult for me to take the high road a lot of the time . I don't like that trait in myself at all

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by inhisname View Post
                  I am so glad to see I am not the only one who struggles with this. Does anyone else get accused of judging if you speak of God's Word?
                  I am surrounded by liberal-minded people who believe in everything but God. If I mention my views on abortion or gay marriage
                  I am met with anger and resentment. I have lost many people because of this and I gladly let them go because we really have nothing in common with our views being so opposite. I feel there is a spiritual warfare going on right now.
                  I know what you mean, where I worked I always stood my ground against abortion and gay marriage and was seriously outnumbered, more people would pile on against me and my "hate speech". And so many were not only atheist but people that went to various churches but still held to abortion rights and gay marriage. Spiritual warfare is continual, wickedness wants to run us over, in my opinion only, I think the battle is so fierce in the heavens and around us that we could not handle it visually and would not be able to function/concentrate and do what we are suppose to down here, we are shielded from it but know it is happening. We are light and the battle with darkness will come to an end, we know the ending, we are the wheat and the weeds are growing amongst us, until they are gathered by the angels and thrown into the fire.
                  John 10:27-30 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I know what you mean, where I worked I always stood my ground against abortion and gay marriage and was seriously outnumbered, more people would pile on against me and my "hate speech". And so many were not only atheist but people that went to various churches but still held to abortion rights and gay marriage. Spiritual warfare is continual, wickedness wants to run us over, in my opinion only, I think the battle is so fierce in the heavens and around us that we could not handle it visually and would not be able to function/concentrate and do what we are suppose to down here, we are shielded from it but know it is happening. We are light and the battle with darkness will come to an end, we know the ending, we are the wheat and the weeds are growing amongst us, until they are gathered by the angels and thrown into the fire.
                    John 10:27-30 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My pride got the best of me and my daughters affair put me over the edge and I told my daughter I was ashamed of her...something I will spend the rest of my life regretting.
                      Last edited by Cindy S.; February 25th, 2018, 07:55 PM.
                      The dogs are barking, someone is knocking on the door...

                      Please pray for Lindsey's salvation

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hello all,

                        My struggle may be a bit long-winded………I’m sorry.

                        My husband of thirty-five years passed away of cancer almost three years ago. We had a wonderful marriage, and blended a family of five children. He was a Jew, and within a year of our marriage, he accepted Jesus as his Savior. He didn’t share that news with his family until three months before he went to heaven. They were not happy about it, and once he was gone, had nothing to do with me. Even the children I helped raise, whom I loved, and thought they loved me, disappeared into the woodwork, rarely calling or making plans to get together. I tried for the first two years and went out of my way to see them and be in touch with them, but they went on with their lives without me. I could have dealt with that……….

                        I have lived my whole life trying to be kind to people, and not make waves or problems. I have bitten my tongue for years at times to avoid conflict. His two children have never seen me cause a problem. They have enjoyed my unconditional love for thirty-five years. But, last spring, my daughter-in-law decided to go behind my back, without any factual information from me, and lie about me to one of my grandchildren on my side of the family. I mean, she literally went out of her way to make plans for a few hours together with Beth and her children so she could lie, run me down (along with Beth’s mother) spouting hateful things……….and, claiming that I was spending all of her husband’s inheritance! Not at all true.

                        Because there was a family wedding approaching (another grandson on my husband’s side) whe I found out about it, I remained silent, because I did not want to cause problems before the wedding. While at the event, my daughter-in-law caused a scene with me, because I did not give her a hug when she approached me. I learned she had been talking about my daughter and I to all of the extended family before we arrived.

                        In December, I made a date to meet with her and my son at their house. I confronted her on what she had done……. My son said she would never do that, and tried to do all the talking while she sat there like a stone. I asked her point blank, and she admitted she did it. Her attitude was that she had a right to say whatever she wanted. No apology to me or Deb, and no apology to Beth……in fact, she unfriended all of us immediately on Facebook. She tried to turn everything around onto us, when we had done NOTHING.
                        I left, and a couple of weeks later sent an email trying to smooth things over, and offer grace to her. She erupted in yet another tirade back to me.

                        I told her that I was done. That she had betrayed my trust. That I did not want to be in contact with her again. She has treated other people in her life badly, and I don’t want to be in that position anymore. My son should know that I did not do anything from my life’s example from the 35 years he has known me. But, the whole family is out of the picture now. And, his sister is not in contact anymore either, so they have spread the lies on to her.

                        I struggle because I feel I am letting the Lord down by removing myself from the situation. And yet, I honored their faith and hosted seder dinners every year after their grandmother passed away….for fifteen years. I celebrated chanuka with them every year I was in their family……….and, yet they never honored my faith by celebrating Easter or Christmas with Paul and me. I tried to share but they were not interested and would not listen. I am at the point where I am moved to walk away and not throw pearls at swine. I’m 73 and missing my life with their dad, and I can’t take any more pain from them. It is a choice I have made, but still struggle with.

                        I truly cannot wait for that glorious day when our Lord comes and takes us home, out of this dark and dreary world.

                        Thanks for listening.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Kathy..........the older we get the harder it is to go toe to toe or debate verbally with the enemies of our faith and our Christian lifestyle and choices. It is worse when a spouse passes and you are left to do this by yourself. The world has so many areas where family, friends, coworkers, and church members can go astray and then try to hold a devout Christian hostage. I will pray for your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical strength to continue doing and saying what is right; even if it means the most precious loved ones choose or are told to stay away. Stay strong, read your Bible every day, and pray to the God of Creation for all protections that you deserve and need.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thank you so much, Batman, for your sweet reply and understanding. It has been so very hard to watch greed and jealousy destroy what I thought were close relationships. She is a very unhappy, ungrateful woman, and her actions are hurting others besides me. I will continue to pray for her, and for my son and my two granddaughters, but that is all I can do now. I realize that God can solve all problems, and if He acts in their hearts and brings them around, I will be gracious to them.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Bitterness. Very bitter and snappy to people I need to forgive and let go. It's hard for me to let go and forgive and I suffer dearly for it. Even if I could justify my anger or resentment, it doesn't do me any good except to ruin my peace and sour my heart. I'm a fool. Twice a fool for I understand my trouble and I tend to do it anyway miserable wretch that I am.

                              Even so, knowing me now is like knowing a different person from before my salvation. I've become much better at forgiving and forgetting. There are days where the "old man" comes out but for the most part there's a kind of tempered apathy I take to most issues and people that used to just make my blood boil over.
                              Now it makes their blood boil over. It's amazing what a non-response goads out of people.

                              It's certainly no good thing to run cold and apathetic to the world around us but at the same time facing certain people and troubles? Folks who want to rile you up and drag you along on their miserable emotional roller coaster? A forbearing controlled apathy is the best response I find. The alternative is to just let these types drag you along and I refuse.

                              I'm stubborn too.
                              God help me.

                              Originally posted by kathymendel View Post
                              Hello all,

                              My struggle may be a bit long-winded………I’m sorry.

                              My husband of thirty-five years passed away of cancer almost three years ago. We had a wonderful marriage, and blended a family of five children. He was a Jew, and within a year of our marriage, he accepted Jesus as his Savior. He didn’t share that news with his family until three months before he went to heaven. They were not happy about it, and once he was gone, had nothing to do with me. Even the children I helped raise, whom I loved, and thought they loved me, disappeared into the woodwork, rarely calling or making plans to get together. I tried for the first two years and went out of my way to see them and be in touch with them, but they went on with their lives without me. I could have dealt with that……….

                              I have lived my whole life trying to be kind to people, and not make waves or problems. I have bitten my tongue for years at times to avoid conflict. His two children have never seen me cause a problem. They have enjoyed my unconditional love for thirty-five years. But, last spring, my daughter-in-law decided to go behind my back, without any factual information from me, and lie about me to one of my grandchildren on my side of the family. I mean, she literally went out of her way to make plans for a few hours together with Beth and her children so she could lie, run me down (along with Beth’s mother) spouting hateful things……….and, claiming that I was spending all of her husband’s inheritance! Not at all true.

                              Because there was a family wedding approaching (another grandson on my husband’s side) whe I found out about it, I remained silent, because I did not want to cause problems before the wedding. While at the event, my daughter-in-law caused a scene with me, because I did not give her a hug when she approached me. I learned she had been talking about my daughter and I to all of the extended family before we arrived.

                              In December, I made a date to meet with her and my son at their house. I confronted her on what she had done……. My son said she would never do that, and tried to do all the talking while she sat there like a stone. I asked her point blank, and she admitted she did it. Her attitude was that she had a right to say whatever she wanted. No apology to me or Deb, and no apology to Beth……in fact, she unfriended all of us immediately on Facebook. She tried to turn everything around onto us, when we had done NOTHING.
                              I left, and a couple of weeks later sent an email trying to smooth things over, and offer grace to her. She erupted in yet another tirade back to me.

                              I told her that I was done. That she had betrayed my trust. That I did not want to be in contact with her again. She has treated other people in her life badly, and I don’t want to be in that position anymore. My son should know that I did not do anything from my life’s example from the 35 years he has known me. But, the whole family is out of the picture now. And, his sister is not in contact anymore either, so they have spread the lies on to her.

                              I struggle because I feel I am letting the Lord down by removing myself from the situation. And yet, I honored their faith and hosted seder dinners every year after their grandmother passed away….for fifteen years. I celebrated chanuka with them every year I was in their family……….and, yet they never honored my faith by celebrating Easter or Christmas with Paul and me. I tried to share but they were not interested and would not listen. I am at the point where I am moved to walk away and not throw pearls at swine. I’m 73 and missing my life with their dad, and I can’t take any more pain from them. It is a choice I have made, but still struggle with.

                              I truly cannot wait for that glorious day when our Lord comes and takes us home, out of this dark and dreary world.

                              Thanks for listening.
                              I don't think your situation is much different from what I'm describing.

                              I know it's not a perfect response and it'll always feel... incomplete. But the fallen condition of people doesn't always make a perfect resolution possible. From the sound of it you're not the one hindering that process. You might give this video a watch if you have 6 mins to spare. It's helped me and it might help you.

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